A rather surprising discovery

It doesn't matter who it is, what religion you're in, how old you are, what your status in life is, you watch porn.
Man, a guy I thought who would NEVER watch porn, a guy actually watches a crap load of porn.

This dude has always been Mr. Goody two shoe, always loyal to his wife and would rather tear out his own testicles than even glance at another chick.
Well I thought that was him until I found the files on his computer while browsing his mp3 list.
He had dozens of movies downloaded and about 60 or so sites on his favorites list! How funny!


At least he has good taste though, I mean some of those sites are on my favorites list as well!
I've never made it a secret that I dig da porn... hell, I keep my porn on my desktop for all the world to see! I don't give a damn because I've said it before and I'll say it again: PORNOGRAPY IS WONDERFUL!!

Random Dumb or weird things I do

Whenever I pay with something with my card I always say "thank you" to the cashier when they hand it back to me. Why the hell would I thank them?? It's MY CARD, of course they're going to give it back to me and yet I always thank them for it.


At the movies when the ticket dude tells me to enjoy the movie I have to stop myself from saying "you too". Sometimes I don't stop myself in time and I end up sounding like a tard.

I see a cool t-shirt design or clever phrase that some chick is wearing and I'm so focused on the artwork or reading the phrase, I don't notice that I'm staring a hole in her chest. What's worse is that the girl is a D-cup and 13 years old so naturally I'm giving off the ol' pedophile vibe that can be detected in Antartica.

Sometimes I mistake my flashlight for my cell phone.

During the week, my diet is so strict I have to psyche myself up just to eat the very healthy and somewhat bland food.

My farts sound like someone clapping.

A random IM conversation

Here's part of a conversation I had with a friend of mine the other day. For some reason I thought it was rather funny.

[12:06] kineticas: do you see my future wife in my icon thingy?
[12:06] neonfractals: who is that?
[12:06] kineticas: Rosario mutha fuckin' Dawson, foo!
[12:06] neonfractals: oohhhhh
[12:06] neonfractals: yeah good god
[12:06] neonfractals: she's amazazazing
[12:06] kineticas: I would wreck her
[12:07] neonfractals: hahahaha
[12:07] kineticas: I'm talking Flight 93 wreckage here
[12:07] neonfractals: bahahaha
[12:07] neonfractals: i love it
[12:07] kineticas: she'll be a smoking crater when I done with her. no survivors
[12:08] neonfractals: speckling the canyon?
[12:08] kineticas: more like flooding
[12:08] neonfractals: hahahaha

How odd

a man among men

So yeah, the Croc Hunter is dead. Normally I don't give a damn when some celebrity dies, but in this case I was actually surprised by my reaction upon learning of his death. I actually felt a sense of "loss". He was like that really cool person that you didn't really know or hang out with but their presence nevertheless left an undeniable impression on you.
Unlike other celebs who were fake as hell, you could tell that he was really just being himself and I liked that. Also, he was kind of a dork and he made know apologies for it and I can definitely relate to that.

Sheesh, I didn't even blink when I heard that princess Diana whatshername got killed while the rest of the world was in a "state of mourning" and for what?? What the fuck did that bitch do? She was nothing more but a spoiled, rich, pill popping, nutbag and the hardest part of her life was picking the cutest 10,000 dollar dress for one of the hundreds of lame ass social events she seemed to attend on a regular.
Oh wait... she raised awareness about kids getting their legs blown off by landmines in countries that nobody gives a fuck about anyway... whoaaaaaa! What a fucking humanitarian... I sure she got some kind of compensation for her "work".

Steve fucking Irwin wrestled giant crocidiles and poisoness snakes for god's sake and every dime he made went right back into his passion of raising awareness of wildlife conservation. He never bitched, he never whined and he sure as hell didn't spend his money on the latest designer clothes, jewelery or some other materialistic status symbol like those other douchebag phonies.

I think it's fitting that after smacking around the world's most dangerous animals he gets taken out by the "harmless" stingray because most legendary bad asses usually go out like that... just look at Samson, John Henry and Achilles.

I know the whole line "He died doing what he loved" has been soooooo overused in this case, but it's true! He really did! I hope I'm that lucky, although I doubt my death will be as kick ass as his!