A friend of mine decided he was going to take steroids to help him get over a physical plateau. I strongly suggested against it and he said it was only going to be for "one cycle" and even asked me if I wanted to do it with him and of course I said no.
That was over three years ago and he's still juicing. I've noticed that he's become a lot more irritable and defensive as well being easier to anger plus he's got some nasty ass acne popping up on his back. I don't know if his dick as shriveled up and I really don't want to know about it either.
He's always been a big guy and strong as hell, he really doesn't need it, but then I realized that steroids can be just as addictive as any other drug and unlike other drugs, I can actually see the appeal of taking them. You get tremendous gains with half the time and effort and you look pretty darn good in the mirror too.
Unfortunately these gains disappear just as quickly once you stop no matter how hard you try to maintain your "counterfeit" muscles naturally and that's where steroids addictive nature surfaces.
That can be an incredibly hard thing to give up which is why people like my friend who plan on taking it for "one cycle" usually continue taking it for years.
People with low self esteem are twice as likely to become addicted. Maybe that's why most pro bodybuilders are so short. Perhaps they're compensating for their stubbiness?? Ah, whatever.
There was a time I seriously considered juicing until I read about the risks... especially involving the penis and heart... that was the end of that.
Thursday, March 30, 2006
A little kindness won't kill you
Well that's bullshit. I remember back in college I helped some dude I didn't even know carry some camera equipment up some stairs because it would be the nice thing to do.
Well, half an hour later I got a particularly nasty case of the stomach flu that made me puke and pee out my ass for days.
Well, it didn't kill me, but kindness certainly made my life a living hell for those several days.
Keep that in mind the next time that crazy thought of performing a kind deed gets into your head.
Well, half an hour later I got a particularly nasty case of the stomach flu that made me puke and pee out my ass for days.
Well, it didn't kill me, but kindness certainly made my life a living hell for those several days.
Keep that in mind the next time that crazy thought of performing a kind deed gets into your head.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Larry the Cable guy movie.
They made a movie starring this extremely unfunny dumbass. The sad thing is, I'm sure there will be a few dozen people actually planning on watching this.
If you are one of these people, save some time, take a 10 dollar bill out of your wallet and flush it down your toilet. After that, do the gene pool a favor and castrate yourself for even thinking about watching this piece of shit.
No, I haven't seen the movie and I never will because I've been blessed with common sense.
If you are one of these people, save some time, take a 10 dollar bill out of your wallet and flush it down your toilet. After that, do the gene pool a favor and castrate yourself for even thinking about watching this piece of shit.
No, I haven't seen the movie and I never will because I've been blessed with common sense.
An observation.
You know you must really think highly of a person if you spend 30+ hours with them in a small car driving through the deepest, darkest south and you don't feel the urge to throw them out of the vehicle and laugh as you watch their carcass bounce off the asphalt and into the path of several tractor trailers.
Pretty cool.
On a side note: You KNOW you're in the deep south when you see gas stations selling ammo boxes next to the skittles.
Pretty cool.
On a side note: You KNOW you're in the deep south when you see gas stations selling ammo boxes next to the skittles.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Belated V for Vendetta movie review. *SPOILERS*
I saw this movie a few weeks ago It was just great in every way. The acting, the plot, the visual effects, there was hardly.
They may be a few spoilers, but I'll try to keep them as vague as possible.If you don't know, the movie takes place in the future, when the United States no longer exists and England has become a Nazi-like dictatorship. In all the control and suppression of the people, a vigilante donning a mask made to look like Guy Fawkes stands up against the government. At first, it seems like V is nothing more than a rebel against the evil chancellor Sutler and his administration, but as the movie progresses we find out that there is a lot more background to everything.
The movie itself is great. The acting is near perfection. I barely noticed Natalie Portman's character Evey losing her accent, but other than that everything was believable, though V's hyper articulation would give most people tremors. Obviously he's over compensating because his penis got burned off.
There were few occasions that actually called for advanced special effects, which is a good thing in my book.
Action and sci-fi movies have way overboard with CGI recently, and I like seeing movies like this without a lot of computer imaging. To tell you the truth, there really isn't that much action at all. Most of the movie consists of V advancing his plot to overthrow the government while we learn about him through Evey and Detective Finch.
There are a lot of sub-plots and background. I like Vallerie's story in particular. I thought it was very well done and extremely moving. I thought the constant references and analogies were very interesting and Natalie Portman had to shave her head. There is just something about girls with shaven heads that gets to me that's hot.... I dunno why.
So anyway, this is a great movie. It is way worth seeing, maybe even buying. I'd recommend it to anyone and I mean, anyone. It isn't a movie that you'll see just because you go to the theater because you are bored. It is a movie that you actually make the time to go and see.
They may be a few spoilers, but I'll try to keep them as vague as possible.If you don't know, the movie takes place in the future, when the United States no longer exists and England has become a Nazi-like dictatorship. In all the control and suppression of the people, a vigilante donning a mask made to look like Guy Fawkes stands up against the government. At first, it seems like V is nothing more than a rebel against the evil chancellor Sutler and his administration, but as the movie progresses we find out that there is a lot more background to everything.
The movie itself is great. The acting is near perfection. I barely noticed Natalie Portman's character Evey losing her accent, but other than that everything was believable, though V's hyper articulation would give most people tremors. Obviously he's over compensating because his penis got burned off.
There were few occasions that actually called for advanced special effects, which is a good thing in my book.
Action and sci-fi movies have way overboard with CGI recently, and I like seeing movies like this without a lot of computer imaging. To tell you the truth, there really isn't that much action at all. Most of the movie consists of V advancing his plot to overthrow the government while we learn about him through Evey and Detective Finch.
There are a lot of sub-plots and background. I like Vallerie's story in particular. I thought it was very well done and extremely moving. I thought the constant references and analogies were very interesting and Natalie Portman had to shave her head. There is just something about girls with shaven heads that gets to me that's hot.... I dunno why.
So anyway, this is a great movie. It is way worth seeing, maybe even buying. I'd recommend it to anyone and I mean, anyone. It isn't a movie that you'll see just because you go to the theater because you are bored. It is a movie that you actually make the time to go and see.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Another angry rant.
Some things really piss me off. I think I'll bitch about them:
-People who can't spell. Now, I'm not talking about people that make the occasional typo, we've all done it, that doesn't bother me. I'm not talking about people that get their homonyms mixed up either. It's careless, sure, but only mildly annoying. Even people that type like they're in an IRC room (using 'u' instead of 'you' for instance) don't bother me. As long as I can understand what you're saying, it's fine.It's people that actually don't know how to spell. Freakish morons that couldn't pass Grade 4 English and can't read anything more complex than a fucking menu that somehow find their way on to the internet and/or my company. The worst is people from the South. They must not have books down here, because they just spell things the way they sound. Which normally works fine, but not when you speak with a DRAWL.
-Bad drivers. 90 year old fuckers that drive 30mph on one lane roads in the middle of rush hour. People that stop or brake for no reason. People that tailgate me when I can't go any faster DUE TO THE CAR DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF ME YOU FUCKING MORON. People that turn on to the lane I'm in, forcing me to brake to avoid hitting them, when they could have just waited 5 SECONDS for me to go by them because there's NO ONE BEHIND ME. When I'm waiting for a car to pass by so I can turn on to a street just to have it not signal and turn on to my street. When I'm waiting behind another car waiting for an opening on a left turn through oncoming traffic and when the opening comes, he takes his sweet fucking time going through the intersection so he can get through and I CAN'T. People that drive in the fast lane on the highway and don't move over for faster cars coming up behind them. People that don't let you merge. People that suddenly start going faster when you try to pass them. People that try to walk across the street at the last second and don't hurry up when the light goes green. People that jaywalk across busy streets with their KIDS when there's a crosswalk less then 5 feet away.To all you fuckers: GET OFF MY FUCKING ROADS.
-Women that complain about not being able to start a relationship. Bitch, I got news for you: the reason relationships don't get started is THAT WOMEN LIKE YOU MAKE IT SO FUCKING DIFFICULT. Someone told me to go see the movie "Hitch" (which is where I got that little nugget) to get some insight as to how to improve my game. Well, it didn't. All it did was reaffirm my belief that a lot (not all) women are infuriating bitches! This whole "game" thing is bullshit. What the fuck, I have to play it off like I'm not interested, even though I am interested, but I can't let them know that I'm interested, so I have to be a jackass but still give attention but know when to not give her attention and sometimes not be a jackass, but then she starts acting interested so I think she's interested, but then she just wants to be friends so I leave her alone, but then she starts flirting again so I think she's interested, AND IT'S ALL SO FUCKING CONFUSING. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT. These women have all these ridiculous expectations of men and make us go through all these stupid hoops to court them and have to nerve to complain that they can't get a date? Bitch, please. Let me introduce you to the Stairs.
Ok, I just realized how insane I sound. Or maybe I'm so sane I just blew all your minds.
Oh yeah, congrats to my friend's new house purchase.
-People who can't spell. Now, I'm not talking about people that make the occasional typo, we've all done it, that doesn't bother me. I'm not talking about people that get their homonyms mixed up either. It's careless, sure, but only mildly annoying. Even people that type like they're in an IRC room (using 'u' instead of 'you' for instance) don't bother me. As long as I can understand what you're saying, it's fine.It's people that actually don't know how to spell. Freakish morons that couldn't pass Grade 4 English and can't read anything more complex than a fucking menu that somehow find their way on to the internet and/or my company. The worst is people from the South. They must not have books down here, because they just spell things the way they sound. Which normally works fine, but not when you speak with a DRAWL.
-Bad drivers. 90 year old fuckers that drive 30mph on one lane roads in the middle of rush hour. People that stop or brake for no reason. People that tailgate me when I can't go any faster DUE TO THE CAR DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF ME YOU FUCKING MORON. People that turn on to the lane I'm in, forcing me to brake to avoid hitting them, when they could have just waited 5 SECONDS for me to go by them because there's NO ONE BEHIND ME. When I'm waiting for a car to pass by so I can turn on to a street just to have it not signal and turn on to my street. When I'm waiting behind another car waiting for an opening on a left turn through oncoming traffic and when the opening comes, he takes his sweet fucking time going through the intersection so he can get through and I CAN'T. People that drive in the fast lane on the highway and don't move over for faster cars coming up behind them. People that don't let you merge. People that suddenly start going faster when you try to pass them. People that try to walk across the street at the last second and don't hurry up when the light goes green. People that jaywalk across busy streets with their KIDS when there's a crosswalk less then 5 feet away.To all you fuckers: GET OFF MY FUCKING ROADS.
-Women that complain about not being able to start a relationship. Bitch, I got news for you: the reason relationships don't get started is THAT WOMEN LIKE YOU MAKE IT SO FUCKING DIFFICULT. Someone told me to go see the movie "Hitch" (which is where I got that little nugget) to get some insight as to how to improve my game. Well, it didn't. All it did was reaffirm my belief that a lot (not all) women are infuriating bitches! This whole "game" thing is bullshit. What the fuck, I have to play it off like I'm not interested, even though I am interested, but I can't let them know that I'm interested, so I have to be a jackass but still give attention but know when to not give her attention and sometimes not be a jackass, but then she starts acting interested so I think she's interested, but then she just wants to be friends so I leave her alone, but then she starts flirting again so I think she's interested, AND IT'S ALL SO FUCKING CONFUSING. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT. These women have all these ridiculous expectations of men and make us go through all these stupid hoops to court them and have to nerve to complain that they can't get a date? Bitch, please. Let me introduce you to the Stairs.
Ok, I just realized how insane I sound. Or maybe I'm so sane I just blew all your minds.
Oh yeah, congrats to my friend's new house purchase.
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Hitler was a nice guy after all.
I was emailed this by a friend of mine. It's probably one of the funniest things I've read in a long time.
Before any of you more sensitive people get too "outraged", lighten up. It's obviously a satirical story mocking the dumbasses who actually believe horseshit like this.
Anyway, enjoy the read:
hello all
ive been thinking, and when i think its usually intellijent. History claims that hitler was an evil tyrant, a murderer and an all round bad guy but im sure his friends would say he was nice such as gobels, himridge and glochen-pop. apparently he was a really good cook. just ask the jews
but seriously friends, the jews have been a pain in the ass for far too long and hitler only did what everyone else was thinking because no one else had the balls to do it and boy were they big. the jews have been known to be a race of liars and great exageraters, its in their genes the exagerating gene. look it up. take moses for example, FACT the jews claim he freed them from slavery and parted the red sea. in reality he beat the pharoah of egypt in a poker game for the jews. the ancient egyptians were known gambling addicts and were always running up massive debts. moses won the jews in a crooked poker game. How else would he get five royal flushes in a row? Parting the red sea? They had a boat, but they thought the story would be more interesting if it involved divine intervention.
Alright, lets look at the biggest blotch on his good name: Genocide. It'sbeen performed many times in history. Even in a lovely country like Australia, genocide was achieved, but no one holds shit against Australia. It seems that the jews cry harder than everyone else and exagerate more than all other races, due to the Exagerating gene that all jews inherit.
Mr Hitler (he should be titled 'Sir') was, contrary to popular belief, a great person who believed in truth, justice, and liberty. FACT During the war, he was happily helping old ladies across the street when suddenly, he heard a tank crash. He ran as fast as he could to the catastrophe, and saw that the tank was on fire. He then realised that they were enemy soldiers, but he knew deep down all men are equal and rescued those soldiers. One of those men was critically wounded, and hitler transfused his own blood into the dying soldier, while performing brain surgery on another man. As soon as the man recovered he whispered: 'You truly are the king of kings.'
Germany was in ruins from the great depression and losing world war one, its people were falling apart, and all hopes and ambitions they may have once had, were just specks in a mindless maze of insanity and broken dreams. Then along came good ol' Adolf Hitler and told the people to keep their chins up, everything will turn out alright for those who believe in the power of love. FACT Hitler united the people and did everything for the people. Many people believe Hitler was a racist and a bigot. Not true. He read 'The Art of War' by Sun Tzu and he aligned himself with the Japanese, thus proving he was not a racist. Hitler wanted to be friends with England, but England said no. Why? Because the British didnt like Germans then, and they sure as hell dont like 'em now. Therefore the British are racists. FACT Englands social hierachy inspired Hitler to develop the same kind of thing. But Hitler wanted to make it with more equality. England didnt like this so they declared war on Germany, because Hitler wanted to do the right thing by everyone. Thats how world war two started.
FACT Those deathcamps you all here about? Another lie generated by the jews to slander Hitlers name. Hitler and his great scientists actually developed a vaccine for cancer and was administering them through these Health Camps. FACT A jewish company developed Zyklon B, a deadly gas, fatal to all who cross its path. So, jewish insurgents decided to replace the cure for cancer with the deadly Zyklon B, thus making it look like Hitler meant to do such an atrocity. Hitler was never informed of this due to the leaders of the Health Camps being jewish and being bribed to keep their mouths shut. This is the truth.
FACT Hitler didnt commit suicide, he died while participating in a massive orgy. His last words were: 'Mein Feuren Has Gott lubernekhieben' which translates to 'Fifty more virgins to screw? Damn its good to be Hitler!'
Conclusion: Hitler was a true hero to mankind. Not a monster that he was percieved to be, but the kind of person we all strive to become.
Before any of you more sensitive people get too "outraged", lighten up. It's obviously a satirical story mocking the dumbasses who actually believe horseshit like this.
Anyway, enjoy the read:
hello all
ive been thinking, and when i think its usually intellijent. History claims that hitler was an evil tyrant, a murderer and an all round bad guy but im sure his friends would say he was nice such as gobels, himridge and glochen-pop. apparently he was a really good cook. just ask the jews
but seriously friends, the jews have been a pain in the ass for far too long and hitler only did what everyone else was thinking because no one else had the balls to do it and boy were they big. the jews have been known to be a race of liars and great exageraters, its in their genes the exagerating gene. look it up. take moses for example, FACT the jews claim he freed them from slavery and parted the red sea. in reality he beat the pharoah of egypt in a poker game for the jews. the ancient egyptians were known gambling addicts and were always running up massive debts. moses won the jews in a crooked poker game. How else would he get five royal flushes in a row? Parting the red sea? They had a boat, but they thought the story would be more interesting if it involved divine intervention.
Alright, lets look at the biggest blotch on his good name: Genocide. It'sbeen performed many times in history. Even in a lovely country like Australia, genocide was achieved, but no one holds shit against Australia. It seems that the jews cry harder than everyone else and exagerate more than all other races, due to the Exagerating gene that all jews inherit.
Mr Hitler (he should be titled 'Sir') was, contrary to popular belief, a great person who believed in truth, justice, and liberty. FACT During the war, he was happily helping old ladies across the street when suddenly, he heard a tank crash. He ran as fast as he could to the catastrophe, and saw that the tank was on fire. He then realised that they were enemy soldiers, but he knew deep down all men are equal and rescued those soldiers. One of those men was critically wounded, and hitler transfused his own blood into the dying soldier, while performing brain surgery on another man. As soon as the man recovered he whispered: 'You truly are the king of kings.'
Germany was in ruins from the great depression and losing world war one, its people were falling apart, and all hopes and ambitions they may have once had, were just specks in a mindless maze of insanity and broken dreams. Then along came good ol' Adolf Hitler and told the people to keep their chins up, everything will turn out alright for those who believe in the power of love. FACT Hitler united the people and did everything for the people. Many people believe Hitler was a racist and a bigot. Not true. He read 'The Art of War' by Sun Tzu and he aligned himself with the Japanese, thus proving he was not a racist. Hitler wanted to be friends with England, but England said no. Why? Because the British didnt like Germans then, and they sure as hell dont like 'em now. Therefore the British are racists. FACT Englands social hierachy inspired Hitler to develop the same kind of thing. But Hitler wanted to make it with more equality. England didnt like this so they declared war on Germany, because Hitler wanted to do the right thing by everyone. Thats how world war two started.
FACT Those deathcamps you all here about? Another lie generated by the jews to slander Hitlers name. Hitler and his great scientists actually developed a vaccine for cancer and was administering them through these Health Camps. FACT A jewish company developed Zyklon B, a deadly gas, fatal to all who cross its path. So, jewish insurgents decided to replace the cure for cancer with the deadly Zyklon B, thus making it look like Hitler meant to do such an atrocity. Hitler was never informed of this due to the leaders of the Health Camps being jewish and being bribed to keep their mouths shut. This is the truth.
FACT Hitler didnt commit suicide, he died while participating in a massive orgy. His last words were: 'Mein Feuren Has Gott lubernekhieben' which translates to 'Fifty more virgins to screw? Damn its good to be Hitler!'
Conclusion: Hitler was a true hero to mankind. Not a monster that he was percieved to be, but the kind of person we all strive to become.
Wednesday, March 8, 2006
Crack funk.
Well, I just had a rather interesting conversation with a friend of mine. Among other things, we discussed my bathing practices. Ok. All is going fine and dandy, until this happens:
Quote:
Them: you're the first person that i know of that washes their crack
Me: wtf? Everyone washes their crack
Them: i have never known anyone who does
besides you
Me: ok so you don't wash your crack or butthole....What if you sweat down your crack? And of course you can't completely clean your butthole with toilet paper...so how do you actually clean it?
Them: toilet paper?
Me:???
Okay when I was young and learning how to bathe by myself, no one ever came out and said, "Wash your crack and asshole". I just assumed that I was supposed to wash everything, especially areas where human waste was involved, very thoroughly.
If you dont clean your ass, something is wrong. unless you are in a bath, in which case, you are gay or a woman. Bathing in your own filth, no matter how many fragrances or bubbles you put in there is NOT going to was your butthole, people. I don't see how anyone can feel clean being covered in their own dead skin cells and reeking like ass.
It reminds me of a chick I used to date who suffered from a bad case of crack funk. She either didn't know how to wipe thoroughly or she's one of these freaks who just can't be bothered with washing their own asses and it was PAINFULLY apparent after she did a number two. This was especially devasting to an ass man like myself! It's very difficult to admire the flawless shape of a well shaped female buttocks when you're being cock blocked by a wall of funk.
This was an attractive, educated woman with high standards, yet she still suffered from crack funk??
This is a phenomenon that bears investigating... by someone else... blech.
Quote:
Them: you're the first person that i know of that washes their crack
Me: wtf? Everyone washes their crack
Them: i have never known anyone who does
besides you
Me: ok so you don't wash your crack or butthole....What if you sweat down your crack? And of course you can't completely clean your butthole with toilet paper...so how do you actually clean it?
Them: toilet paper?
Me:???
Okay when I was young and learning how to bathe by myself, no one ever came out and said, "Wash your crack and asshole". I just assumed that I was supposed to wash everything, especially areas where human waste was involved, very thoroughly.
If you dont clean your ass, something is wrong. unless you are in a bath, in which case, you are gay or a woman. Bathing in your own filth, no matter how many fragrances or bubbles you put in there is NOT going to was your butthole, people. I don't see how anyone can feel clean being covered in their own dead skin cells and reeking like ass.
It reminds me of a chick I used to date who suffered from a bad case of crack funk. She either didn't know how to wipe thoroughly or she's one of these freaks who just can't be bothered with washing their own asses and it was PAINFULLY apparent after she did a number two. This was especially devasting to an ass man like myself! It's very difficult to admire the flawless shape of a well shaped female buttocks when you're being cock blocked by a wall of funk.
This was an attractive, educated woman with high standards, yet she still suffered from crack funk??
This is a phenomenon that bears investigating... by someone else... blech.
Monday, March 6, 2006
Same ol' story. Different Rant.
I was reminded about a certain thing that pisses me off the other day. I was talking to a woman I know who is white and dates black men exclusively yet she ended up marrying a white guy and had two kids with him before divorcing him.
Long time readers of this blog may notice the similarity to a previous post, but this is not the same story.
I asked her if she was never attracted to white guys why did she marry one. Well she gave the same reason I've heard a dozen times before: Because her parents expected it from her. Apparently it was cool for her to date black guys but god forbid that she actually marry one or GASP!! Have children with them! Wouldn't want to contaminate the bloodline now would we?
That's such bullshit... I can't stand weak fuckers like this who still let their fucking parents dictate their personal affairs. I've run into countless dumbasses like this and it never fails to disgust me, particularly when they don’t agree with their parents' beliefs yet they compromise themselves by only putting up token resistance at most and to satisfy their expectations.
By capitulating to these incredibly narrow-minded beliefs, they are no better than they are. Probably my favorite excuses is when they say, “that’s part of who they are” or “I don’t have the right to try to change their minds.” It’s not just limited to parents, but friends, loved ones, spouses, etc can also be counted.
I know several people who hide behind this reasoning and although, they aren’t racists themselves and they openly disagree with these people's viewpoints, they still enable their racist beliefs by accepting that “part” of them into their lives. By accepting them, they accept racism and that’s what allows it to grow.
It’s like telling someone who is about to bomb an orphanage that you don’t agree with what they are doing, but you don’t do anything to stop them. Oh well, I guess “that’s part of who they are.”
Of course none of them wants to admit this and they always come up with some imaginative excuse or reasoning, but the bottom line is, they have chosen to accept it in their lives.
I consider myself a very tolerant and open-minded person, more so than a lot of people out there, but I always have and always will have a zero tolerance for racism and the people who choose to accept it which is why I don’t have much to do with the a-fore mentioned people. It’s a shame really… these people are overall pretty cool, but they’ve made their choice as have I.
Yeah, yeah, I know I’ve ranted about this subject before, but I feel that it’s worth repeating so shut up.
Long time readers of this blog may notice the similarity to a previous post, but this is not the same story.
I asked her if she was never attracted to white guys why did she marry one. Well she gave the same reason I've heard a dozen times before: Because her parents expected it from her. Apparently it was cool for her to date black guys but god forbid that she actually marry one or GASP!! Have children with them! Wouldn't want to contaminate the bloodline now would we?
That's such bullshit... I can't stand weak fuckers like this who still let their fucking parents dictate their personal affairs. I've run into countless dumbasses like this and it never fails to disgust me, particularly when they don’t agree with their parents' beliefs yet they compromise themselves by only putting up token resistance at most and to satisfy their expectations.
By capitulating to these incredibly narrow-minded beliefs, they are no better than they are. Probably my favorite excuses is when they say, “that’s part of who they are” or “I don’t have the right to try to change their minds.” It’s not just limited to parents, but friends, loved ones, spouses, etc can also be counted.
I know several people who hide behind this reasoning and although, they aren’t racists themselves and they openly disagree with these people's viewpoints, they still enable their racist beliefs by accepting that “part” of them into their lives. By accepting them, they accept racism and that’s what allows it to grow.
It’s like telling someone who is about to bomb an orphanage that you don’t agree with what they are doing, but you don’t do anything to stop them. Oh well, I guess “that’s part of who they are.”
Of course none of them wants to admit this and they always come up with some imaginative excuse or reasoning, but the bottom line is, they have chosen to accept it in their lives.
I consider myself a very tolerant and open-minded person, more so than a lot of people out there, but I always have and always will have a zero tolerance for racism and the people who choose to accept it which is why I don’t have much to do with the a-fore mentioned people. It’s a shame really… these people are overall pretty cool, but they’ve made their choice as have I.
Yeah, yeah, I know I’ve ranted about this subject before, but I feel that it’s worth repeating so shut up.
Bday girl
Okay, I celebrated Liz’s big 22nd birthday (although she feels like this is her 42nd bday) on Saturday at the ol’ Olive Garden with a few of her friends and we had a pretty good time. Rachel was hilarious with her many voices and her REALLy weird family stories and Ben and Lauren they were cool as well. I thought it was pretty interesting when Lauren said that she had only blown her nose maybe three or four times in her life. Now I thought that was a little too hard to believe personally. I mean, that’s like hearing someone say that they never farted before! It just doesn’t happen!
Other than that odd exchange, we had a lot of fun sharing our mutual hatred for dirty, smelly hippies who think showering is too much of a hassle! I never understood people who have an aversion against bathing… I mean, even freakin’ animals have enough sense to bathe!
After the dinner it was time to play some Laser Tag! Liz and I were the only ones up for it we told the others to go to hell and put a curse on all of them and then we set out to shoot some lasers! I hadn’t played this damn game in years, but I was looking forward to strapping on the ol laser blaster and going to town on some freakin’ kids! Then Liz and I realized that these bastards might have an advantage on us since these kids grew up with first person shooter video games. Also, I had forgotten that theses places usually have black lights installed and my orange shirt became a neon sign that screamed “SHOOT ME!”
When the game began, I was doing fairly well until some teeny bopper chick runs into at full sprint and her shoulder pad thing nails me right in the chin. Well, she starts screaming sorry over and over again in that typical teeny bopper voice and I said it was cool before shooting her. In fact I made it a mission from then on to shoot her as many times as possible! That’ll teach her to fucking run!
Well despite all that, I did fairly well considering my rustiness and I was able to shoot Liz more than she was able to shoot me by one shot. Liz is a very competitive woman and I could tell that she didn’t like losing. My super funky chicken victory super dance probably didn’t help either.
We then decided to shoot some pool to finish out the night. We were having a pretty good time until I realized that the place was filled to capacity with people and I couldn’t take a damn shot without asking some dumb ass to move out of the way.
To make matters worse, there were a bunch of chicks at a table next to us and ALL of them smoked like freakin’ chimneys. I was reminded how much I freakin’ DESPISE smokers. Why the hell would anyone want to start this filthy, disgusting habit is beyond me. If they want to smell like an ashtray and look like shit, that’s their right, but I sure as hell don’t!
Anyway, I had all I could take and we got the hell out of their before I snapped! Ugh…. So unclean…
Later on, we ate some of what was left of a delicious cake that Rachel had baked… mmmmm… now that was some goooood eatin’!
I then left the birthday girl’s place and promptly crashed on my nice comfy bed at around 1am. It was a pretty cool night overall.
Other than that odd exchange, we had a lot of fun sharing our mutual hatred for dirty, smelly hippies who think showering is too much of a hassle! I never understood people who have an aversion against bathing… I mean, even freakin’ animals have enough sense to bathe!
After the dinner it was time to play some Laser Tag! Liz and I were the only ones up for it we told the others to go to hell and put a curse on all of them and then we set out to shoot some lasers! I hadn’t played this damn game in years, but I was looking forward to strapping on the ol laser blaster and going to town on some freakin’ kids! Then Liz and I realized that these bastards might have an advantage on us since these kids grew up with first person shooter video games. Also, I had forgotten that theses places usually have black lights installed and my orange shirt became a neon sign that screamed “SHOOT ME!”
When the game began, I was doing fairly well until some teeny bopper chick runs into at full sprint and her shoulder pad thing nails me right in the chin. Well, she starts screaming sorry over and over again in that typical teeny bopper voice and I said it was cool before shooting her. In fact I made it a mission from then on to shoot her as many times as possible! That’ll teach her to fucking run!
Well despite all that, I did fairly well considering my rustiness and I was able to shoot Liz more than she was able to shoot me by one shot. Liz is a very competitive woman and I could tell that she didn’t like losing. My super funky chicken victory super dance probably didn’t help either.
We then decided to shoot some pool to finish out the night. We were having a pretty good time until I realized that the place was filled to capacity with people and I couldn’t take a damn shot without asking some dumb ass to move out of the way.
To make matters worse, there were a bunch of chicks at a table next to us and ALL of them smoked like freakin’ chimneys. I was reminded how much I freakin’ DESPISE smokers. Why the hell would anyone want to start this filthy, disgusting habit is beyond me. If they want to smell like an ashtray and look like shit, that’s their right, but I sure as hell don’t!
Anyway, I had all I could take and we got the hell out of their before I snapped! Ugh…. So unclean…
Later on, we ate some of what was left of a delicious cake that Rachel had baked… mmmmm… now that was some goooood eatin’!
I then left the birthday girl’s place and promptly crashed on my nice comfy bed at around 1am. It was a pretty cool night overall.
Wednesday, March 1, 2006
40 year old virgin
go to hell
Every now and then a movie comes along that is just so profoundly brilliant and unique that you just have to see over and over and each time you see it, the movie only gets better.
The 40 year old virgin is NOT that movie.
I remember seeing this movie for the first time thinking it was ball bustingly hilarious! It had been a long time since I enjoyed a movie this much!
Months later, when it came out on dvd, I thought I'd share this wonderful experience with a friend who had never seen it before.
Five minutes into the film I started to realize something... this was one of the STUPIDEST movies I had EVER seen! I didn't laugh once! What I thought was hilariously brilliant was now painfully boring.
The main actor, whatever the fuck his name is just plain sucked. The supporting cast was immediately forgetful and it all just seemed so freakin' forced.
It makes me wonder why this movie was so popular to begin with. Perhaps it was successful with the younger crowd who haven't yet seen the other 3984985 movies that are EXACTLY like this one.
Maybe the American public had one of those massive collective brain farts that allowed Titanic to be a hit and got Dub-yuh in office TWICE. Who the hell knows.
Perhaps I subconciously convinced myself it was funny the first time to offset the horrible realization that I had just wasted 16 bucks on this train wreck.
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