Do you have that one person in your life that you constantly defend from other people's accusations that he/she may not be the sharpest tool in the shed? Do find yourself making excuses for their behavior by calling them absent minded, scatter brained or confused? At the same time however, you deny the fact that just talking to this person seems to be draining your own intelligence. You continue on with the denial because after all, they're YOUR friend...you would never associate with a person like that.
Then one day, this person does or says something so incredibly stupid, so earth shattering retarded, so mind blowingly moronic, you have no choice but to face the brutal realization: This person is a DUMB ASS.
Suddenly it's your mission in life to put as much distance between you and this dolt as possible.
I came to this realization recently.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
78,000 dead
That's the official death toll from the Tsunami disaster. That's more than the American dead in Vietnam only this happened in a matter of minutes. They expect that number to climb to 100,000. Crazy.
It's nice to see the world pulling together to help these nations out including the good 'ol USA, but I can't help but remember how these same nations, including the good ol' US of A didn't lift a finger to prevent the 600,000 people who were butchered in Rowanda a few years ago. I guess since they were killed by other people and not some giant wave of water, it doesn't constitute a "disaster".
Oh well... I guess it's not that important.
It's nice to see the world pulling together to help these nations out including the good 'ol USA, but I can't help but remember how these same nations, including the good ol' US of A didn't lift a finger to prevent the 600,000 people who were butchered in Rowanda a few years ago. I guess since they were killed by other people and not some giant wave of water, it doesn't constitute a "disaster".
Oh well... I guess it's not that important.
Friday, December 24, 2004
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
More Hardee's hate
my heart hurts
You know, Hardees is reeeally starting to bug the hell outta me. I think I bitched about them before, but I'll do it again!
Anyhoo, I've always been annoyed by their fucking THICK BURGER ads. I mean I guess they're targeting the MANLY MAN demographic or something because they always show these blue collar, average everyday joes talkin' about how much they hate Mcdonalds and how the just crave a good ol' hardees thickburger.
One commercial that stands out advertises their god awful abomination Monster Burger. It shows a bunch of Old Navy looking pretty boys wearing backward caps and driving a Monster Truck (get it) while scarfing down some good ol' Hardees MONSTER BURGERS! Is this supposed to epitomize men or something?? Gee, I've never gotten the urge to drive a big ass truck in the middle of the desert and eat fast food. Am I crazy or just retarded?
But wait! What do men think with besides their stomachs? That right, their DICKS! That's why Hardees decides to throw in some bimbo pretending to eat one of their nasty burgers and looking like she's having an orgasm while doing it. Holy underwear, what the fuck?!! Yeah, I'm sure some pencil thin twig girl eats 1500 calorie burgers everyday! Come on! Oooh, baby! That's my wet dream right there! Oh how I would love to shove my tounge down her throat to taste the greasy goodness of her big ass THICK BURGER! fap fap fap *splat*
Full circle
Just came back from the bathroom. On my way back I walked past a white woman and said "hello". It looked like she was about faint from fright. Funny thing is, It was the same white woman I scared a year ago and was the subject of my very first post http://voodazz.blogspot.com/2003_12_01_voodazz_archive.html
I wonder if she recognized me or just saw me as some scary negro hell bent on raping her and stealing her purse. How funny.
I wonder if she recognized me or just saw me as some scary negro hell bent on raping her and stealing her purse. How funny.
Monday, December 20, 2004
Would you do it?
Some 3rd grader shmuck asked me if I would pose naked for Playgirl for 3 million dollars. The "catch" is I would be photographed from all angles and the it would be publicized so everyone would know! GASP! DUN DUN DUUUUN!!
How in the blue man group HELL is this remotely a difficult decision????
This is a great example of the contrast between men and women. Women have this stupid ass thing they call "self respect" or whatever that would usually stop them from doing this. A stupid, irrational decision will keep a lot of them with an average or below average bank account....while just about every guy would jump on this in a hot minute, and have much more money than the average person will see in a lifetime.
Really, I'm thinking about what's the lowest amount I would pose for...? that's the real question. Hell, they could give me about 30-35,000 and I'd do it. For 3 million, I will have already stripped all my clothes off and oiled myself up before the person can even finish asking the question. I have no problem exposing my tra la la to a worldwide audience for that kind of loot!
Sheesh... it's not like it's gay porn or anything… that would cost significantly more.
Stupid 3rd graders. I hope I wasn't that freakin' lame at that age.
How in the blue man group HELL is this remotely a difficult decision????
This is a great example of the contrast between men and women. Women have this stupid ass thing they call "self respect" or whatever that would usually stop them from doing this. A stupid, irrational decision will keep a lot of them with an average or below average bank account....while just about every guy would jump on this in a hot minute, and have much more money than the average person will see in a lifetime.
Really, I'm thinking about what's the lowest amount I would pose for...? that's the real question. Hell, they could give me about 30-35,000 and I'd do it. For 3 million, I will have already stripped all my clothes off and oiled myself up before the person can even finish asking the question. I have no problem exposing my tra la la to a worldwide audience for that kind of loot!
Sheesh... it's not like it's gay porn or anything… that would cost significantly more.
Stupid 3rd graders. I hope I wasn't that freakin' lame at that age.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
SoHo's
I went over to Chaunda's to pick her up to go to a club called Sohos. When I got there, she said she was feeling kinda 'blah' so i stayed over to mooch off her cable--I mean, to TALK with her.
Well after watching a wonderful episode of CHEATERS and some crappy b-movie with killer puppets, we went over to the club.
It was a pretty nice place with a cool mix of people. I was kind of annoyed when I wasn't padded down at the door. What? I don't look intimidating enough?? I had on a leather jacket and a skull cap dammit!! Then I realized it was probably because I was SO DAMN OLD! Bouncer called me "sir". I'm suprised he didn't help get up the step. Young punk!
We just sat and talked while people watching and there were some nice looking ladies walking around, but I concentrated mainly on the 42 inch flat screen HDTV hanging on the wall...drool....some day...some day...
I talked to Chaunda about her concerns with her new man and offered any advice I could. It's the least I could do after she helped me get out of my rencent funk, she checked the place out a couple of times and eventually we left.
Not a bad way to spend the rest of Saturday night.
Well after watching a wonderful episode of CHEATERS and some crappy b-movie with killer puppets, we went over to the club.
It was a pretty nice place with a cool mix of people. I was kind of annoyed when I wasn't padded down at the door. What? I don't look intimidating enough?? I had on a leather jacket and a skull cap dammit!! Then I realized it was probably because I was SO DAMN OLD! Bouncer called me "sir". I'm suprised he didn't help get up the step. Young punk!
We just sat and talked while people watching and there were some nice looking ladies walking around, but I concentrated mainly on the 42 inch flat screen HDTV hanging on the wall...drool....some day...some day...
I talked to Chaunda about her concerns with her new man and offered any advice I could. It's the least I could do after she helped me get out of my rencent funk, she checked the place out a couple of times and eventually we left.
Not a bad way to spend the rest of Saturday night.
Ron's return
I was at the mall Saturday trying to find a certain Happy Bunny shirt to give to a friend of mine for xmas, when Ron walks up to me and asks me if these pants would look good on him. I told him that they might be a little too big for him and I didn't like the color. He told me I was probably right and continued to look around.
Did i mention that I hadn't seen Ron in almost two years? That's the kind of friendship we have. He just pops in after disappearing for a few months and it's just like he never left. No obnoxious HELLOS or questions about what we've been up to or any crap like that.
Anyway, after introducing me to his latest sugar daddy (forgot his name) we started walking around the mall making crude observations about people and "young love". Ron muses how shocked the girlfriend will be when she finds out that her boyfriend in a closet case and leaves her for a young philipino stud named "Javier".
For the rest of the night, Ron tried to get me to come out of the closet myself...he's been trying for 10 years with no luck so far. I'm afraid I'm a willing slave to the ALMIGHTY VAGINA™ I'm amused by his efforts though.
The sugar daddy was a pretty cool guy as well. Unlike Ron, he didn't scream out "I'M GAY!!" He just looked like your average mid-thirties professional and he thought it was pretty funny when I said Ron was "special" and called him "Corky". I kept asking him to wear his mittens and football helmet. He wasn't amused.
Later on we ate at Ruby Tuesday (i had forgotten how crappy their food was). I was complaining that the average server looked like she was 16 years old! I inquired about one of them, and sure enough she was in FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL!!
Yeah, they never let me hear the end of that one... SIGH.
As we were eating our crappy overpriced food, a big chested woman walks by and Ron says "Did you see the size of those sweater hawgs??!" I nearly choked on my crappy overpriced burger... hehe... "sweater hawgs..." I'm stealing that.
After dinner, we wandered around some more and went to the arcade to watch Ron pay some pinball (fun).
Eventually we decided to leave and sugar-daddy dropped me off to my car and I have to say, his car was fucking SWEEET! Ron hit the jackpot with this one!
Anyway, after a hug and an ass grab, Ron disappears once again. He says we'll do something later on, but I know that'll probably be next year. Ah, well.
Did i mention that I hadn't seen Ron in almost two years? That's the kind of friendship we have. He just pops in after disappearing for a few months and it's just like he never left. No obnoxious HELLOS or questions about what we've been up to or any crap like that.
Anyway, after introducing me to his latest sugar daddy (forgot his name) we started walking around the mall making crude observations about people and "young love". Ron muses how shocked the girlfriend will be when she finds out that her boyfriend in a closet case and leaves her for a young philipino stud named "Javier".
For the rest of the night, Ron tried to get me to come out of the closet myself...he's been trying for 10 years with no luck so far. I'm afraid I'm a willing slave to the ALMIGHTY VAGINA™ I'm amused by his efforts though.
The sugar daddy was a pretty cool guy as well. Unlike Ron, he didn't scream out "I'M GAY!!" He just looked like your average mid-thirties professional and he thought it was pretty funny when I said Ron was "special" and called him "Corky". I kept asking him to wear his mittens and football helmet. He wasn't amused.
Later on we ate at Ruby Tuesday (i had forgotten how crappy their food was). I was complaining that the average server looked like she was 16 years old! I inquired about one of them, and sure enough she was in FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL!!
Yeah, they never let me hear the end of that one... SIGH.
As we were eating our crappy overpriced food, a big chested woman walks by and Ron says "Did you see the size of those sweater hawgs??!" I nearly choked on my crappy overpriced burger... hehe... "sweater hawgs..." I'm stealing that.
After dinner, we wandered around some more and went to the arcade to watch Ron pay some pinball (fun).
Eventually we decided to leave and sugar-daddy dropped me off to my car and I have to say, his car was fucking SWEEET! Ron hit the jackpot with this one!
Anyway, after a hug and an ass grab, Ron disappears once again. He says we'll do something later on, but I know that'll probably be next year. Ah, well.
Saturday, December 18, 2004
Dmgxmas party
I'm sitting in my office. It's a little after 6am. I have a slight headache. Still trying to remember the events of last night's christmas party...
Well, it started out pretty calmly enough. Just a few people here and there, very cool, PLUS a surprise visit from my friend Claire!! Surprised the shit outta me! It was like old times with us yacking away as usual and such.
For some reason I gave her access to my name and password (by then i was a little giddy from the rum and cokes) and I find out MUCH later she'd been having a little fun with my comment thingees.
Normally, I'd stomp a mudhole in her and walk it dry, but she's practically family and she did help me through a rough patch in my life, so I spared her life. For now.
Suddenly my friend Tinah SLAMS into my glass door, spilling her drink all over it! Holy shit! Typical Tinah entrance! I've always had a thing for this woman, I just find her so freakin' sexy.
Anyway we all yap for awhile before she takes my picture and leaves. Typical Tinah exit.
Eventually Claire had to leave to see her folks and i was left to fight the now enormous crowd gathered around the bar. Oh yeah, I had a religious experience with Wasabi. My GOD that stuff just burns through your sinuses and right into your brain! I think I saw God.
I met a fascinating older woman who was a professor of education at UT. Now I consider myself a pretty smart cookie, but you could just FEEL the intellect eminating from her. It was quite a turn on. Anyway, we start talking about houses and I told her my interest in buying one and she told me of a kick ass realtor. We went to my office and she showed me the site and I have to say, I was quite impressed! She said he is extremely flexible and has over 100 properties all over town.
I saw the houses that were available and they were pretty damn sweet! She gave me his card and told me to say that she sent me. Hell, this was WAY better than her phone number!
Oh yeah, I made a play on her and she was actually flattered since she said it's been awhile since anyone has ever flirted with her. I found that hard to believe. She was hot! But anyway, she gave me the "I'm too old for you" line. Whatever…she's only six years older than me. Oh well... she was still very cool!
As the night went on, I started speaking in tounges. A clear sign that I have had enough to drink.
Around that time my good friends Lauren and Jessee came in. It was soooo good to see them again, although it had been months since I'd seen them last, it was like we never parted. Very cool.
My other friend Jude and Lauren's friend, whats-her-face came into my office and we had fun comparing horror stories about our recent break ups. It was almost scary at all the similarities our stories had. We actually finished each others' sentences! How funny!
After that, I had to leave to meet Shannon over at the downtown grill. It was pretty cool. I was kinda anxious because she was with her "bitch pack", but they were nice and I didn't feel like I was being critiqued. Well, I'm sure I was, but they hid it well.
After I got done with that I headed back to the party which was still going strong. I met a few VERY drunk college friends and we talked about my infamous "Axel Rose" impression as well as the Rob Zombie "incident". Man, I forgot all about that!
Anyway, it was getting pretty late and I didn't trust myself to drive so i decided to crash on the couch in my office... which brings us here.
Man, I'm so hungry.
Well, it started out pretty calmly enough. Just a few people here and there, very cool, PLUS a surprise visit from my friend Claire!! Surprised the shit outta me! It was like old times with us yacking away as usual and such.
For some reason I gave her access to my name and password (by then i was a little giddy from the rum and cokes) and I find out MUCH later she'd been having a little fun with my comment thingees.
Normally, I'd stomp a mudhole in her and walk it dry, but she's practically family and she did help me through a rough patch in my life, so I spared her life. For now.
Suddenly my friend Tinah SLAMS into my glass door, spilling her drink all over it! Holy shit! Typical Tinah entrance! I've always had a thing for this woman, I just find her so freakin' sexy.
Anyway we all yap for awhile before she takes my picture and leaves. Typical Tinah exit.
Eventually Claire had to leave to see her folks and i was left to fight the now enormous crowd gathered around the bar. Oh yeah, I had a religious experience with Wasabi. My GOD that stuff just burns through your sinuses and right into your brain! I think I saw God.
I met a fascinating older woman who was a professor of education at UT. Now I consider myself a pretty smart cookie, but you could just FEEL the intellect eminating from her. It was quite a turn on. Anyway, we start talking about houses and I told her my interest in buying one and she told me of a kick ass realtor. We went to my office and she showed me the site and I have to say, I was quite impressed! She said he is extremely flexible and has over 100 properties all over town.
I saw the houses that were available and they were pretty damn sweet! She gave me his card and told me to say that she sent me. Hell, this was WAY better than her phone number!
Oh yeah, I made a play on her and she was actually flattered since she said it's been awhile since anyone has ever flirted with her. I found that hard to believe. She was hot! But anyway, she gave me the "I'm too old for you" line. Whatever…she's only six years older than me. Oh well... she was still very cool!
As the night went on, I started speaking in tounges. A clear sign that I have had enough to drink.
Around that time my good friends Lauren and Jessee came in. It was soooo good to see them again, although it had been months since I'd seen them last, it was like we never parted. Very cool.
My other friend Jude and Lauren's friend, whats-her-face came into my office and we had fun comparing horror stories about our recent break ups. It was almost scary at all the similarities our stories had. We actually finished each others' sentences! How funny!
After that, I had to leave to meet Shannon over at the downtown grill. It was pretty cool. I was kinda anxious because she was with her "bitch pack", but they were nice and I didn't feel like I was being critiqued. Well, I'm sure I was, but they hid it well.
After I got done with that I headed back to the party which was still going strong. I met a few VERY drunk college friends and we talked about my infamous "Axel Rose" impression as well as the Rob Zombie "incident". Man, I forgot all about that!
Anyway, it was getting pretty late and I didn't trust myself to drive so i decided to crash on the couch in my office... which brings us here.
Man, I'm so hungry.
Friday, December 17, 2004
Great News!
Well I think it's great news. My sister and hubby have bought their FIRST HOUSE!!! And it's not a piece of crap either! It's pretty damn nice!! I'm so proud of her!
Feeling good
It feels like 50 tons have been lifted off of my shoulders. It feels great! Just thought I'd share. Fuck you if you don't care. (that rhymes!) I'm a freakin' freestyle genius!! FEEL my awesomeness and TREMBLE!
The Ladies
Okay, a week ago I'm at a pub, listening to a really cool band (forgot the name) when these two older women asked if they could sit with me. I didn't care and let them have a seat.
I could immediately tell that these women were drunk as hell and enjoying every minute of it. Viv and Sue were their names. They were about in their early or mid 50s and they were from North Hampton. Unlike your typical night club skank, these ladies had some class. They carried themselves very well and judging by their demeanor, and jewelery, they screamed "old money".
They asked me if I would like a drink and i said no thanks. Well it's Viv's birthday and they've been all over town doing chick things like maincures, shopping for crap, drinking and etc.
After awhile, I was starting to like these women. They were pretty damn cool and I decided to accept that drink offer.
Well... 6 shots of B-52s and one bottle of Smirnoff later, I was pretty damned buzzed and enjoying myself!
Sue said she was getting hot and decides to take off her sweater. The first thing that went through my mind was "wow…she has some pretty firm breasts for a 50 year old...oh... wait..." Maybe it was the booze, but she didn't look half bad for a 50+ year old... shit...if she were 20 years younger, I'd give her a shot!
She said something that stuck with me. She said life is short and you can't waste time complaining how shitty it is. Yeah, it might not sound like much, but at the time, I was feeling a bit low and that actually cheered me up.
Well, it was getting late and they said they were going to their hotel room where their other friends were waiting (i declined the offer to join them). I offered to pay my share of the drinks but Sue waved me off as she opened up her purse and I saw at least 800 dollars in cash! Old money indeed.
We hugged each other good bye and went our separate ways. I think that's the closest I've come to having a sugar mamma.
I could immediately tell that these women were drunk as hell and enjoying every minute of it. Viv and Sue were their names. They were about in their early or mid 50s and they were from North Hampton. Unlike your typical night club skank, these ladies had some class. They carried themselves very well and judging by their demeanor, and jewelery, they screamed "old money".
They asked me if I would like a drink and i said no thanks. Well it's Viv's birthday and they've been all over town doing chick things like maincures, shopping for crap, drinking and etc.
After awhile, I was starting to like these women. They were pretty damn cool and I decided to accept that drink offer.
Well... 6 shots of B-52s and one bottle of Smirnoff later, I was pretty damned buzzed and enjoying myself!
Sue said she was getting hot and decides to take off her sweater. The first thing that went through my mind was "wow…she has some pretty firm breasts for a 50 year old...oh... wait..." Maybe it was the booze, but she didn't look half bad for a 50+ year old... shit...if she were 20 years younger, I'd give her a shot!
She said something that stuck with me. She said life is short and you can't waste time complaining how shitty it is. Yeah, it might not sound like much, but at the time, I was feeling a bit low and that actually cheered me up.
Well, it was getting late and they said they were going to their hotel room where their other friends were waiting (i declined the offer to join them). I offered to pay my share of the drinks but Sue waved me off as she opened up her purse and I saw at least 800 dollars in cash! Old money indeed.
We hugged each other good bye and went our separate ways. I think that's the closest I've come to having a sugar mamma.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Tiny Tim
A few days ago I was hanging out with Scott, aka "Tiny Tim" who was injured in Iraq awhile back and enjoying ourselves as usual, but I noticed something different about him this time.
I no longer saw the gung-ho ready to die for his country ass kickin' marine I saw a few weeks earlier. In his place, was a rather bitter, cynical and critical young man. What I had feared was true… he HAD seen a lot of things most of us could never imagine. He told me stories about seeing dead women and children and mangled bodies strewn all over the street.
He also told me that he's seen several of his friends killed or severely wounded.. In fact, during the ambush that injured him, his friend got his leg blown off as well as losing an eye.
He also expressed frustration on the way the war is fought, telling me about having to radio in for permission to return fire even when the enemy is shooting at them. Letting terrorists get away because of bullshit rules of engagement, not having enough equipment at times, doing bullshit photo ops for the media (he was on TV!) the list goes on. I reminded him that he wasn't allowed to talk about these things and he just said, "I'm going back to Iraq. What else can they do to me?"
Unlike a lot of the soldiers stationed in Iraq, he was right in the middle of some of the bloodiest fighting in the war and I fear he hasn't emerged unscathed...I mean how could he NOT be after all that.
They have mandatory psyche evaluations for returning soldiers, but I think they aren't doing a very good job at it. I'm worried about the long term mental affects this will have on my friend.
Sigh... so much for relying of good 'ol Tiny Tim to lift my spirits during my own emotional funk.
I no longer saw the gung-ho ready to die for his country ass kickin' marine I saw a few weeks earlier. In his place, was a rather bitter, cynical and critical young man. What I had feared was true… he HAD seen a lot of things most of us could never imagine. He told me stories about seeing dead women and children and mangled bodies strewn all over the street.
He also told me that he's seen several of his friends killed or severely wounded.. In fact, during the ambush that injured him, his friend got his leg blown off as well as losing an eye.
He also expressed frustration on the way the war is fought, telling me about having to radio in for permission to return fire even when the enemy is shooting at them. Letting terrorists get away because of bullshit rules of engagement, not having enough equipment at times, doing bullshit photo ops for the media (he was on TV!) the list goes on. I reminded him that he wasn't allowed to talk about these things and he just said, "I'm going back to Iraq. What else can they do to me?"
Unlike a lot of the soldiers stationed in Iraq, he was right in the middle of some of the bloodiest fighting in the war and I fear he hasn't emerged unscathed...I mean how could he NOT be after all that.
They have mandatory psyche evaluations for returning soldiers, but I think they aren't doing a very good job at it. I'm worried about the long term mental affects this will have on my friend.
Sigh... so much for relying of good 'ol Tiny Tim to lift my spirits during my own emotional funk.
Clarity
I was hanging out with Chaunda over at the Preservation Pub, actually i was walking her to her car from the preservation pub and we were discussing my certain tendancies and she said the most profound thing anyone has ever said to me…she compared me with a rat. A dirty stinkin', smelly, fucking disease ridden rat!
Anyway she went on to say that I was like a rat in those food pellet experiments: The rat was conditioned to push this lever which gave it food. When there a consistant flow of food the rat had a complacecent attitude towards the food since it knew it would always be there. When the lever didn't produce any food, the rat would get bored and move on. However, when the lever gave food at random intervals, the rat became obessed with the lever, furiously scratching at it, hoping that it will get lucky and get a snack. It couldn't walk away because it just couldn't risk missing that little bit of dried out, crunchy stale goodness.
And there it was……my moment of utter clarity. She put it all in perspective. That's EXACTLY what I become when I find myself in situations concerning mixed signals. When the answer is a definite "YES", I'm cool. When it's a definite "NO", I move on. When it's both a "YES" and "NO" or "KINDA" answer, I become that desperate clawing little rat jonsin' for that little piece of nuggety goodness.
And there you have it. Sheeesh!! I think that finally pulled me out of the funk I was in for awhile! How weird!
I never thought I'd be happy being called a fucking rat…
Anyway she went on to say that I was like a rat in those food pellet experiments: The rat was conditioned to push this lever which gave it food. When there a consistant flow of food the rat had a complacecent attitude towards the food since it knew it would always be there. When the lever didn't produce any food, the rat would get bored and move on. However, when the lever gave food at random intervals, the rat became obessed with the lever, furiously scratching at it, hoping that it will get lucky and get a snack. It couldn't walk away because it just couldn't risk missing that little bit of dried out, crunchy stale goodness.
And there it was……my moment of utter clarity. She put it all in perspective. That's EXACTLY what I become when I find myself in situations concerning mixed signals. When the answer is a definite "YES", I'm cool. When it's a definite "NO", I move on. When it's both a "YES" and "NO" or "KINDA" answer, I become that desperate clawing little rat jonsin' for that little piece of nuggety goodness.
And there you have it. Sheeesh!! I think that finally pulled me out of the funk I was in for awhile! How weird!
I never thought I'd be happy being called a fucking rat…
Contemplating Suicide.
It's over. I can't go on. The pain is too great. I'm ending it now. Life is just an unbearable pile of garbage and I sick of it's putrid smell. Every fucking moment I breathe is agony. FUCK YOU , world! You won't have me to kick around anymore!
Boo fuckin' Hoo! Holy shit! Apparently a couple of you readers actually thought I was considering killing myself! Wrong!! Despite how low I was feeling during my "down time" I never ONCE considered doing a Corbain. I'm far too awesome to do such a thing! Suicide is for pussy angsty teens and dumbasses who can't handle the pain that is LIFE.
Actually... what I was planning on doing was in a way, far, far worse... At least with suicide, you're at peace and your pain is over. This particular plan of action would've resulted in a never ending cycle of pain, shame and torment that would only intensify with each passing day, thus resulting in a shattered, gibbering, drooling, frail husk of what barely passes as human standing where a rather incredibly awesome man used to be.
Thank God that my friends were able to pull back from the brink of chaos!
Nice to know that I always have back up whenever I'm not feeling as awesome as usual. Now that my head is clear, I now know what I have to do and I've already taken the first steps.
Boo fuckin' Hoo! Holy shit! Apparently a couple of you readers actually thought I was considering killing myself! Wrong!! Despite how low I was feeling during my "down time" I never ONCE considered doing a Corbain. I'm far too awesome to do such a thing! Suicide is for pussy angsty teens and dumbasses who can't handle the pain that is LIFE.
Actually... what I was planning on doing was in a way, far, far worse... At least with suicide, you're at peace and your pain is over. This particular plan of action would've resulted in a never ending cycle of pain, shame and torment that would only intensify with each passing day, thus resulting in a shattered, gibbering, drooling, frail husk of what barely passes as human standing where a rather incredibly awesome man used to be.
Thank God that my friends were able to pull back from the brink of chaos!
Nice to know that I always have back up whenever I'm not feeling as awesome as usual. Now that my head is clear, I now know what I have to do and I've already taken the first steps.
Saturday, December 11, 2004
I hate this
Ever been hit with an overwhelming feeling of despair and regret? That's how I'm feeling right now and I HATE it. Although I've been pretty happy lately, I always had a feeling that this would happen, but not so suddenly and not all at once. I thought I was better prepared to handle it, but I was wrong.
Nothing else to do but face this head on and get it over with no matter what the cost.
I'll get through this. I always do.
Nothing else to do but face this head on and get it over with no matter what the cost.
I'll get through this. I always do.
Friday, December 10, 2004
Drunk chick
I was walking towards my car, looking for my friend when I noticed a very drunk girl yelling at random people. Well, for some reason I asked her if she was okay and she clumbsily started coming on to me, babbling about something about sticking up for "her boy" who was being hassled by a bunch of "punks". I asked if "her man" was parking the car or something and she nodded and then she just STARED at me. I said "what?" and she said she loved me eyes and started stroking my face.
Okay, this girl was pretty cute and all, but she was a fucking shit faced, drooling, obnoxious, inchoherent mess...you know...typical sorostitute.
Oh yeah... she had a boyfriend too.
I swear this broad was about to fall on me she was that unstable. I just kinda...propped her against a fence and went on to find my friend and got the hell outta Dodge before the roads become clogged with more of her kind.
Everyone is stupid except me.
Okay, this girl was pretty cute and all, but she was a fucking shit faced, drooling, obnoxious, inchoherent mess...you know...typical sorostitute.
Oh yeah... she had a boyfriend too.
I swear this broad was about to fall on me she was that unstable. I just kinda...propped her against a fence and went on to find my friend and got the hell outta Dodge before the roads become clogged with more of her kind.
Everyone is stupid except me.
Another blast from the past.
I was enjoying some cool live music at a trendy little dowtown pub Thursday night when I get a tap on the shoulder. I turn around and some chick is staring at me and say's "Vincent? Is that you?" I was taken a little off guard. I had no idea who this girl was and she knew my name? Then again, I AM quite legendary, but still, it was a little uneasy for me.
She told me that her name was Shannon and we used to live in the same neighborhood together. I took my eyes off her cleavage long enough to remember that she used to hang around my brother and me when we used to shoot guns back in the day. She was always such an annoying girl and an infamous druggie to boot, so needless to say, I didn't waste my brain cells remembering this nobody.
Anyway, when she got done with the whole bullshit chit chat talk of "how are you?" "what have you been up to?" "How's your brother?", blah, blah, blah... the only question I could think for her was: "So…you're still alive, huh?"
She was a little taken aback by the question and nervously laughed and I continued by saying: "Well you know, with all the drugs you were on, I thought for sure you'd be dead before 21". She laughed like I was joking (I was dead serious) and she went on to tell me a fascinatingly boring story about how she's been clean for x number of years and how she's bettered herself through God and all that crap I've heard a thousand times before.
Hey, I'm glad she managed to pull herself together, good for her. I know how hard it is to kick the habit (not by personal experience, thank you very much) but I don't know her, I don't like her, I never cared about her and I'm not about to start pretending now. No, only my FRIENDS and FAMILY get that privilage. Plus in my experience with "born agains" is that they are the biggest judgemental hypocrites on the planet. They think just because they've found Jesus, it's their god given RIGHT to judge and condem anyone to HELL if they do something as atrocious as spitting on the ground, but their own dubious actions are okay since they're on a first name basis with the almighty.
Of course I acted politely and nice-nice, no need to kill the good mood was in, but I cut it short when she started asking me questions about my personal life that were frankly none of her fucking business. She got the message.
Later on, a friend of mine met up with me and we had a pretty good time touring the dowtown scene.
She told me that her name was Shannon and we used to live in the same neighborhood together. I took my eyes off her cleavage long enough to remember that she used to hang around my brother and me when we used to shoot guns back in the day. She was always such an annoying girl and an infamous druggie to boot, so needless to say, I didn't waste my brain cells remembering this nobody.
Anyway, when she got done with the whole bullshit chit chat talk of "how are you?" "what have you been up to?" "How's your brother?", blah, blah, blah... the only question I could think for her was: "So…you're still alive, huh?"
She was a little taken aback by the question and nervously laughed and I continued by saying: "Well you know, with all the drugs you were on, I thought for sure you'd be dead before 21". She laughed like I was joking (I was dead serious) and she went on to tell me a fascinatingly boring story about how she's been clean for x number of years and how she's bettered herself through God and all that crap I've heard a thousand times before.
Hey, I'm glad she managed to pull herself together, good for her. I know how hard it is to kick the habit (not by personal experience, thank you very much) but I don't know her, I don't like her, I never cared about her and I'm not about to start pretending now. No, only my FRIENDS and FAMILY get that privilage. Plus in my experience with "born agains" is that they are the biggest judgemental hypocrites on the planet. They think just because they've found Jesus, it's their god given RIGHT to judge and condem anyone to HELL if they do something as atrocious as spitting on the ground, but their own dubious actions are okay since they're on a first name basis with the almighty.
Of course I acted politely and nice-nice, no need to kill the good mood was in, but I cut it short when she started asking me questions about my personal life that were frankly none of her fucking business. She got the message.
Later on, a friend of mine met up with me and we had a pretty good time touring the dowtown scene.
Thursday, December 9, 2004
My eyes
I was walking by a mirror and was actually BLINDED by my brilliance.
the doctors say I'll make a full recovery.
the doctors say I'll make a full recovery.
Wednesday, December 8, 2004
Alimony=Vaginamony
I was sitting around, yapping with a friend of mine in a fairly nice hotel room, when the subject about that guy who won 149 million dollars is getting divorced from his worthless money grubbing whore of a wife a month later and OF COURSE, the skankbag is asking for HALF his loot in alimony. Yeah, it's not like the guy worked for his money, but the fact his wife divorced him a MONTH fucking later and demands half his money is fucked up!
This shit really pisses me the hell off! Personally, I think that alimony is outdated and needs to be fucking abolished!
Alimony was created back in the days when women weren't expected (and in some cases not allowed) to work and all they did was raise a family. Nowadays, in the era of "equality", women are more than capable of handling things on their own. To continue to force men to hand over a portion of a paycheck to a woman who is perfectly capable of holding down her own job and taking care of herself just because things didn't work out is utter bullshit.
Yeah, yeah some of you feminist, nazi, pinko douche huggin' skank bags might call this poetic justice since the system was created by the EVIL PENIS DOMINATED EMPIRE, and you're partially right. This shit needs to be changed and it needs to be changed NOW. If you women truly believed in TRUE equality, they would spear head a movement to abolished this incredibly sexist law yourselves since it serves as a blaring reminder of your perceived inferiority. But since that would mean you'd have to give up free cash, I guess it's okay to not be TOO equal. One of the "perks" of being a "lowly" female I suppose.
(Mind you, this has nothing to do with child support, that's a whole other story.)
Bottom line is: Alimony is retarded, women should get NOTHING out of a divorce, NOT A G** DAMN CENT from a man, while child support should go 50/50 if the dad gets the kids 50% of the time, and less if he doesnt, 15% if he can't see them at all...as it's often the case.
Women can fucking work. I've seen many a man who is absolutely destroyed by a divorce...that shit just shouldnt happen. The only thing these greedy life draining bitches should get is THE BOOT OF JUSTICE™ right in the fucking face!
Hell, I'll throw in an example: I saw on a VH1 show one of the most ridiculous celeb divorce cases....Lionel Richie's ex-wife was asking for 300,000 per MONTH....going on in detail about how much she "needs" monthly for not only the kids, but also plastic surgery, personal trainer, hair/makeup, etc. If I were in Lionel's place at that time....seriously...she would suddenly have a nasty "accident" one day....or perhaps just disappear completely like Jimmy Hoffa.
I'm a pissed off man who loves his money! Hear me roar!!
This shit really pisses me the hell off! Personally, I think that alimony is outdated and needs to be fucking abolished!
Alimony was created back in the days when women weren't expected (and in some cases not allowed) to work and all they did was raise a family. Nowadays, in the era of "equality", women are more than capable of handling things on their own. To continue to force men to hand over a portion of a paycheck to a woman who is perfectly capable of holding down her own job and taking care of herself just because things didn't work out is utter bullshit.
Yeah, yeah some of you feminist, nazi, pinko douche huggin' skank bags might call this poetic justice since the system was created by the EVIL PENIS DOMINATED EMPIRE, and you're partially right. This shit needs to be changed and it needs to be changed NOW. If you women truly believed in TRUE equality, they would spear head a movement to abolished this incredibly sexist law yourselves since it serves as a blaring reminder of your perceived inferiority. But since that would mean you'd have to give up free cash, I guess it's okay to not be TOO equal. One of the "perks" of being a "lowly" female I suppose.
(Mind you, this has nothing to do with child support, that's a whole other story.)
Bottom line is: Alimony is retarded, women should get NOTHING out of a divorce, NOT A G** DAMN CENT from a man, while child support should go 50/50 if the dad gets the kids 50% of the time, and less if he doesnt, 15% if he can't see them at all...as it's often the case.
Women can fucking work. I've seen many a man who is absolutely destroyed by a divorce...that shit just shouldnt happen. The only thing these greedy life draining bitches should get is THE BOOT OF JUSTICE™ right in the fucking face!
Hell, I'll throw in an example: I saw on a VH1 show one of the most ridiculous celeb divorce cases....Lionel Richie's ex-wife was asking for 300,000 per MONTH....going on in detail about how much she "needs" monthly for not only the kids, but also plastic surgery, personal trainer, hair/makeup, etc. If I were in Lionel's place at that time....seriously...she would suddenly have a nasty "accident" one day....or perhaps just disappear completely like Jimmy Hoffa.
I'm a pissed off man who loves his money! Hear me roar!!
Tuesday, December 7, 2004
Debauchery and MOM (response)
Okay, I was reading all the comments on my "debauchery" post and I was surprised at all the questions pertaining the ex:
First of all, this has nothing to do with the ex. How the HELL did she even come up anyway?? This is not about getting over her, getting back at her, "moving on" or whatever. So enough of the Dr. Phil wannabe psy 101 crap (I really hate that fat, arrogant, goofy bastard).
I came to an understanding with her a long time ago and things are pretty cool between us now.
We aren't best buddies or anything, but we're talking (sorta). Once again: One day at a time.
As for your "concerns" about her dumping me for the "other guy": She made her decision and followed her heart. That's that…move along, people! Nothing to see here.
I don't think I can make it clearer than that.
Oh, and to all you little trolls trying to start some shit by spewing out random insults, do me a big favor and kindly shut the fuck up.
This was about me wanting to satisfy a basic primal urge and having a great time doing it. This particular girl I was with is one of a few women who can bring out a particularly aggressive part of me that very FEW people ever see which is kind of scary as well as exciting. Of course we've had years to discover each others' "buttons" and we've explored almost every sexual fetish from simple role playing to full on S&M so needless to say, we're VERY comfortable with each other and that also explains the explosive sexual chemistry between us.
I usually don't do the kiss and tell bullshit, but this is a unique story since I've never indulged in so many different fetishes/fantasies and techniques in such rapid succession with little or no rest throughout the night and part of the next day. I kind of surprised myself! It's been years since I let this part of me come out and I guess I was overdue.
Of course my mother calling me in the middle of it all was hilarious and so friggin' surreal! I'm gonna need therapy for that one.
Anyway, I'm done. Hope that answers your questions... like I give a damn if it doesn't.
First of all, this has nothing to do with the ex. How the HELL did she even come up anyway?? This is not about getting over her, getting back at her, "moving on" or whatever. So enough of the Dr. Phil wannabe psy 101 crap (I really hate that fat, arrogant, goofy bastard).
I came to an understanding with her a long time ago and things are pretty cool between us now.
We aren't best buddies or anything, but we're talking (sorta). Once again: One day at a time.
As for your "concerns" about her dumping me for the "other guy": She made her decision and followed her heart. That's that…move along, people! Nothing to see here.
I don't think I can make it clearer than that.
Oh, and to all you little trolls trying to start some shit by spewing out random insults, do me a big favor and kindly shut the fuck up.
This was about me wanting to satisfy a basic primal urge and having a great time doing it. This particular girl I was with is one of a few women who can bring out a particularly aggressive part of me that very FEW people ever see which is kind of scary as well as exciting. Of course we've had years to discover each others' "buttons" and we've explored almost every sexual fetish from simple role playing to full on S&M so needless to say, we're VERY comfortable with each other and that also explains the explosive sexual chemistry between us.
I usually don't do the kiss and tell bullshit, but this is a unique story since I've never indulged in so many different fetishes/fantasies and techniques in such rapid succession with little or no rest throughout the night and part of the next day. I kind of surprised myself! It's been years since I let this part of me come out and I guess I was overdue.
Of course my mother calling me in the middle of it all was hilarious and so friggin' surreal! I'm gonna need therapy for that one.
Anyway, I'm done. Hope that answers your questions... like I give a damn if it doesn't.
Sunday, December 5, 2004
Panther Creek: A new Sunday ritual
click on for larger image
I've decided to dedicate every Sunday afternoon visiting Panther Creek. I don't know what it is about this place, but everytime I go there I just feel so refreshed and renergized! The picture DOES NOT do it justice.
I lost all track of time and had the whole place to myself until a bunch of loud mouth, pizza eating hillbilly women spoiled things. Still... it was pretty nice.
Unbridled debauchery and.....MOM??!
Okay, I was driving around on a boring Friday night, I ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in years and she invited me over to her place to shoot the shit and watch some movies.
It started out innocently enough with us catching up on old times and watching movies and the next thing I know it ended up a wild, sweaty, debacherous, no holds barred, no mercy asked or given, exhibition of uninhibited sexual FURY that started on her floor, outside on her patio, inside my car WHILE I was driving (a personal fantasy of mine, but I couldn't find a woman to do it with...until now), outside in the middle of a park, more car sex, back to her place to pick up some "supplies", back to my place, outside on MY patio (after watching Family Guy for a whole 5 minutes), on the floor, in the kitchen, against the wall, in the bedroom, on my computer chair and eventually on the bed itself.
I had 3 months of pent up sexual tension to release and it felt fucking GREAT to expel all that energy throughout the night! I had forgotten how aggressive this woman was and how effective her techniques were. It had been years since I was able to go all out like that and not worry about hurting the girl. Hell, I was afraid that she'd hurt me! Oh yeah! I was finally able to "road test" the special condoms on a LIVE subject!
Anyway, this is where it gets weird. It was around 1am, we were still doing our thing when I get a phone call. I picked up the phone by reflex, thinking a call this late could only mean a family emergency or something bad.
Well.... it was my MOTHER. She was okay, but she had called to let me know that my cousins that I haven't' seen in 15 years had just popped in from their trip to Vegas and she was going on and on about all the fun they were having and such.
Meanwhile, I'm behind and STILL inside a beautiful, naked and handcuffed woman who is trying her best not to laugh while I struggled to carry on a conversation with my mom.
I felt so awful... my mom may as well have walked in on us, that's how awkward it was!
Well needless to say, I turned down the invitation and just cracked up with my friend for a whole 10 minutes. I'm STILL not sure that actually happened!
But anyway, the next morning we discussed our situation and agreed it would be a one time thing since she's actually interested in starting something real with a guy she's been talking to, but hasn't done anything with yet and I wasn't interested in any kind of committed relationship, so it worked out perfectly: no confusion, no mixed signals, no drama. Just a pure and simple exercise in depravity. I'm good for another 3 months.
The only trade offs were two destroyed apartments, some bruising, I ran out of "special" condoms and it was hard looking my mother in the eye when I went xmas shopping with her.
It started out innocently enough with us catching up on old times and watching movies and the next thing I know it ended up a wild, sweaty, debacherous, no holds barred, no mercy asked or given, exhibition of uninhibited sexual FURY that started on her floor, outside on her patio, inside my car WHILE I was driving (a personal fantasy of mine, but I couldn't find a woman to do it with...until now), outside in the middle of a park, more car sex, back to her place to pick up some "supplies", back to my place, outside on MY patio (after watching Family Guy for a whole 5 minutes), on the floor, in the kitchen, against the wall, in the bedroom, on my computer chair and eventually on the bed itself.
I had 3 months of pent up sexual tension to release and it felt fucking GREAT to expel all that energy throughout the night! I had forgotten how aggressive this woman was and how effective her techniques were. It had been years since I was able to go all out like that and not worry about hurting the girl. Hell, I was afraid that she'd hurt me! Oh yeah! I was finally able to "road test" the special condoms on a LIVE subject!
Anyway, this is where it gets weird. It was around 1am, we were still doing our thing when I get a phone call. I picked up the phone by reflex, thinking a call this late could only mean a family emergency or something bad.
Well.... it was my MOTHER. She was okay, but she had called to let me know that my cousins that I haven't' seen in 15 years had just popped in from their trip to Vegas and she was going on and on about all the fun they were having and such.
Meanwhile, I'm behind and STILL inside a beautiful, naked and handcuffed woman who is trying her best not to laugh while I struggled to carry on a conversation with my mom.
I felt so awful... my mom may as well have walked in on us, that's how awkward it was!
Well needless to say, I turned down the invitation and just cracked up with my friend for a whole 10 minutes. I'm STILL not sure that actually happened!
But anyway, the next morning we discussed our situation and agreed it would be a one time thing since she's actually interested in starting something real with a guy she's been talking to, but hasn't done anything with yet and I wasn't interested in any kind of committed relationship, so it worked out perfectly: no confusion, no mixed signals, no drama. Just a pure and simple exercise in depravity. I'm good for another 3 months.
The only trade offs were two destroyed apartments, some bruising, I ran out of "special" condoms and it was hard looking my mother in the eye when I went xmas shopping with her.
Friday, December 3, 2004
CLOSET SLUTS
typical closet slut
Loose girls. I love 'em.
There's this whole double standard that women shouldn't be allowed to have a lot of sex. It's as if men are hunters and women are prey, and if women give it up too easily they're seen as weak and disrespected.
But fuck that. I've bitched time and time again about how I hate the bullshit us guys have to go through just to have sex. We don't wanna go through it, there has to be women who are willing to drop the bullshit too and just have sex with us. The "sluts". Seriously, why the fuck do we have to jump through some fucking hoops with chicks who more or less want the same thing: just a meaningless, commit free, no strings attached, fuck session???
In fact, I have more respect for the so-called sluts than I do for the girls who deny their desires in order to avoid the label of "slut". Chicks like this (I call them CLOSET SLUTS) try to force a self-delusional pretense that there's potential for a relationship there, so when it naturally falls apart later she can blame HIM for being a typical "jerk guy", thus saving face with her peers and her reputation remains intact, when all she really wanted in the first place was a good ol' fashioned fuck fest.
So remember this bit of info the next time you meet a girl who starts whining about some "typical jerk guy" fucking her over or she suddenly dumps your sorry ass. Chances are that she's a CLOSET SLUT.
But why go through all that drama? Life would be so much fucking easier if you ladies just gave in to your desires and spared us men the mind numbingly painful ordeals of a fake relationship. Let's just skip the whole wine and dine, getting to know you, hanging out and cuddling bullshit and let's just fuck each others brains out! I certainly wouldn't think any less of you!
SLUTS OF THE WORLD UNITE!!!
and let me know where.
Thursday, December 2, 2004
Enough!
You know, next time asks me for advice, I'm going to keep my yap shut. Why the hell give someone advice WHEN THEY DON'T FRIGGIN' LISTEN TO YOU??!! I'm so tired of this crap! Never fails: person comes boo-hooing about some problem they need help with, I give them a painfully obvious lesson in common sense 101, person doesn't hear a word I say and does the EXACT opposite, person comes back boo-hooing about the same fucking problem!!
For now on, I'm just going to tell them what they want to hear, even if I know it's going to bite them in the ass later on and be done with it. If they give me any lip about getting bitten in the ass, then they're gonna get an ass WHOOPIN' from me. I'm sick of this shit.
For now on, I'm just going to tell them what they want to hear, even if I know it's going to bite them in the ass later on and be done with it. If they give me any lip about getting bitten in the ass, then they're gonna get an ass WHOOPIN' from me. I'm sick of this shit.
Buying forgiveness
So I sitting here, workin' for the MAN when I thought about something that really bugged the hell outta me: guys who try to BUY their way back into a woman's good graces.
What kind of fucked up, noodled spined, insecure piece of donkey shit is THAT??!
Man, when you fuck up with a chick you're supposed to be a fucking MAN and try to work it out with her. You don't try to buy your way out of the dog house by lavishing her with expensive gifts and whatnot. To me you're saying that you're a cowardly little piss ant who doesn't care enough about your woman to actually talk things out with her, instead you opt for the easy way "out" by buying her a buncha crap. This in turn is considered an insult by the woman because now she thinks that you consider her some cheap whore who can be dismissed with a few trinkets. Afterwards, one of two things would happen:
A.) The woman becomes even MORE pissed off and realizes that you think so little of her, eventually leading her to find that much wanted "attention" elsewhere.
B.) The woman loses all respect for you as she realizes how easy it is to manipulate your weak punk ass and decides to bleed you dry, meanwhile she's fucking some hung stud to make her feel alive again as her 10,000 dollar necklace bounces off her 5,000 dollar breasts as the hung stud (whom you hired as her personal trainer, btw) bangs her silly on the hood of the brand new BMW you bought her last week to make up for not walking the fucking dog (also a gift from you)!
Good god! I have no respect for men who do this. Little wimpy bitches who can't talk to their women! It's even worse when these guys don't actually have the money to "appease" the missus and go into debt or some financial debacle when a simple "sorry" would've sufficed. If that's not good enough for the woman, tell her to go fuck herself! She's probably a souless gold digging whore and isn't worth your time OR money anyway!
To all those rich bastards who can actually afford to buy off their women: My penis is bigger than yours so FUCK YOU!!
What kind of fucked up, noodled spined, insecure piece of donkey shit is THAT??!
Man, when you fuck up with a chick you're supposed to be a fucking MAN and try to work it out with her. You don't try to buy your way out of the dog house by lavishing her with expensive gifts and whatnot. To me you're saying that you're a cowardly little piss ant who doesn't care enough about your woman to actually talk things out with her, instead you opt for the easy way "out" by buying her a buncha crap. This in turn is considered an insult by the woman because now she thinks that you consider her some cheap whore who can be dismissed with a few trinkets. Afterwards, one of two things would happen:
A.) The woman becomes even MORE pissed off and realizes that you think so little of her, eventually leading her to find that much wanted "attention" elsewhere.
B.) The woman loses all respect for you as she realizes how easy it is to manipulate your weak punk ass and decides to bleed you dry, meanwhile she's fucking some hung stud to make her feel alive again as her 10,000 dollar necklace bounces off her 5,000 dollar breasts as the hung stud (whom you hired as her personal trainer, btw) bangs her silly on the hood of the brand new BMW you bought her last week to make up for not walking the fucking dog (also a gift from you)!
Good god! I have no respect for men who do this. Little wimpy bitches who can't talk to their women! It's even worse when these guys don't actually have the money to "appease" the missus and go into debt or some financial debacle when a simple "sorry" would've sufficed. If that's not good enough for the woman, tell her to go fuck herself! She's probably a souless gold digging whore and isn't worth your time OR money anyway!
To all those rich bastards who can actually afford to buy off their women: My penis is bigger than yours so FUCK YOU!!
Wednesday, December 1, 2004
Sex
I like sex as much as the next person, but lately I haven't really been thinking much about it. Yes, I'm in PHASE ONE, but I usually still think about sex every now and then. Instead I've been thinking a lot about friends and family.
This is a far cry from two weeks ago, when I was INSANELY anxious and very nearly did something about it, but my "go to" girl is currently in a relationship and although, I knew I could get her to come over with a little persuastion, I decided not to. I think these two are good for each other and I don't want to mess that up.
Maybe my lack of interest stems from the fact that I don't want be involved with an empty, meaningless fling during the holidays. It just seems so.... tacky, not to mention pretty pathetic. During this time you're supposed to be with the ones you love. Unfortunately, I don't have a "significant other" to share the holidays with, in fact it's been a pretty crappy year in that department. I take comfort in the fact that I have friends and family to help me get through the holiday blahs. Sometimes that's all you need.
Besides, there's always next year.
This is a far cry from two weeks ago, when I was INSANELY anxious and very nearly did something about it, but my "go to" girl is currently in a relationship and although, I knew I could get her to come over with a little persuastion, I decided not to. I think these two are good for each other and I don't want to mess that up.
Maybe my lack of interest stems from the fact that I don't want be involved with an empty, meaningless fling during the holidays. It just seems so.... tacky, not to mention pretty pathetic. During this time you're supposed to be with the ones you love. Unfortunately, I don't have a "significant other" to share the holidays with, in fact it's been a pretty crappy year in that department. I take comfort in the fact that I have friends and family to help me get through the holiday blahs. Sometimes that's all you need.
Besides, there's always next year.
My decision (Update)
I have to say that I was quite surprised by all the positive comments left on the 'My decision' post. I expected a much more hostile reaction. I'm glad I was wrong.
I decided it would be more effective if I created a new post addressing said comments.
The main source of tension between us was a lack of communication. Every attempt to do so seemed to make things worse, thus building up feelings of mutual resentment.
Fortunately lines of communication were finally established and I was finally able to purge all hostile emotions feelings towards her out of my system. I don't like holding on to petty grudges or negative emotions about anyone, especially people I care about. To her credit, it's obvious that her training as a socialogist came in handy as she was able to quell her own hostile emotions enough to talk to me in a professional, objective manner.
That's one of the reasons for the blog. It helps me purge all that garbage out of my system or else it will just fester and build inside me until it explodes in a fireball of general nastiness. True, most posts can be pretty inflammatory, but that's what I'm feeling at the time and I make no excuses for it.
I'm also fortunate enough to have a close circle of friends and family to help me cope with whatever is bothering me over the years. Without them I'd probably have a baseball sized ulcer in my gut right now. They are all pretty awesome. Not as awesome as me, but they come pretty close.
Some of you have asked if I will become friends with the ex. I don't know. Like I said before, we've come to an understanding. It doesn't mean that we'll be skipping down the beach together anytime soon.
Although I have plenty of experience establishing friendships with other exes once an understanding is reached, this situation is unique and it's way too early to tell. If it happens, cool, if it doesn't, no hard feelings...
Right now I'm content with simply knowing where I stand which is all I wanted in the first place.
I hope that answers you questions. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to clog my toilet.
I decided it would be more effective if I created a new post addressing said comments.
The main source of tension between us was a lack of communication. Every attempt to do so seemed to make things worse, thus building up feelings of mutual resentment.
Fortunately lines of communication were finally established and I was finally able to purge all hostile emotions feelings towards her out of my system. I don't like holding on to petty grudges or negative emotions about anyone, especially people I care about. To her credit, it's obvious that her training as a socialogist came in handy as she was able to quell her own hostile emotions enough to talk to me in a professional, objective manner.
That's one of the reasons for the blog. It helps me purge all that garbage out of my system or else it will just fester and build inside me until it explodes in a fireball of general nastiness. True, most posts can be pretty inflammatory, but that's what I'm feeling at the time and I make no excuses for it.
I'm also fortunate enough to have a close circle of friends and family to help me cope with whatever is bothering me over the years. Without them I'd probably have a baseball sized ulcer in my gut right now. They are all pretty awesome. Not as awesome as me, but they come pretty close.
Some of you have asked if I will become friends with the ex. I don't know. Like I said before, we've come to an understanding. It doesn't mean that we'll be skipping down the beach together anytime soon.
Although I have plenty of experience establishing friendships with other exes once an understanding is reached, this situation is unique and it's way too early to tell. If it happens, cool, if it doesn't, no hard feelings...
Right now I'm content with simply knowing where I stand which is all I wanted in the first place.
I hope that answers you questions. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to clog my toilet.
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