Stubby

So I'm riding my bike in the neighborhood and once again I hear the old familiar bark of the dog that always confronts me when I get to a certain hill.
It doesn't really do anything mean, it just barks, asserting it's territory.

I've been riding through here for weeks now and the dog (I call her stubby) continues to bark at me despite the fact that I've introduced myself, gave it a belly rub and made nice-nice with her owner. Then I noticed that other dogs were watching, so I'm guessing it's more than asserting her territory, it was to save face in front of her peers so she wouldn't appear weak, to the hierarchy, so I guess she's just doing her job.

One thing about this neighborhood I've noticed that is almost everyone has a dog and they let them run around freely in the yard, but they don't run around all over the place like you would expect, the actually STAY in their own yards, never leaving their boundaries. Even if I ride past them they barely pay any attention to me, at most I get a mild "gruff".

Kind of odd if you ask me. Either their owners trained them extremely well or they are Stepford Dogs... diabolical, perfectly behaved doggy clones.
I'm guessing Stubby is the last true dog on the block since she's only one who seems to exhibit doggy behavior, but as soon as she stops barking and chasing me, I'll know that she's become one of THEM.

Poor Stubby.

Duh moment.

So I was at the gym this morning and I noticed an older woman who had a physique women half her age would kill to have and I thought to myself: "Gee, she must work out or something."

Then I remembered where I was.

I was glad I didn't say that thought out loud.

My encounter with Barbara Streisand

Back in college I was chatting with some career counselors and another employee walked in and I told her "Hey you remind me of young Barbra Streisand." I said it as a compliment because personally I thought she was hot in her prime, despite the huge schnoze, but for some reason she took it as a Jewish insult. I was kind of taken off guard by the reaction; "How so", I asked. She went off about because of the holocaust Jews have a smaller gene pool and blah, blah, blah. The other counselors were telling her I meant it as a compliment but she wasn't having it. She said to me "Now look here, mister..." and I started laughing because she actually said "look here, mister."
Of course this set her off even more because she apparently thought I was laughing about the holocaust and I just looked around at the other people and they were just as stunned as I was, one even shrugged his shoulders. It seemed like everyone instantly shut up once the "H" word was mentioned.

Of course this didn't stop me from asking her out in the middle of her bitch fest. Man, if I could have taken a picture of the expression on her face I would've put it on a billboard. It was a mixture of rage, amusement and confusion all in one.
Then she promptly left the room.
One of the counselors turned around, looked at me and said "you're my hero"

Whatever... I'd feel more heroic if I actually got to boink the young Barbara Streisand.