Found out yesterday that I may have some company this weekend. I have a friend who lives in South Carolina and I agreed that she could crash at my place in case she's forced to leave because of the hurricane.
Anja is a cool chick from germany who has an unnatural love affair with her mint condition 1992 MR2.
Sigh... the things I do for a friend.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
I like food
ah, if I wasn't addicted to a healthy lifestyle of eating right and exercise or if I only had a few months to live....my dream diet would be this:
-various italian foods(pizza, calzones[same damn thing isn't it?], lasagna, and spaghetti, and fettuchini alfredo...with garlic bread on the side)
-cheeseburgers(Fuddruckers of course. occasional swap out to Wendy's or preferrably Backyard Burger for "variety") with fries.
-chicken; baked or fried, or grilled, or grilled in a sandwich on pita bread, etc. For fast food chicken: Bojangles or Popeye's. They don't have popeye's around here and no, I don't care if I'm living the racial stereotype of all blacks love fried chicken. It tastes good dammit!
I fucking hate watermelon though.
-kroger's Peanut Butter Passion ice cream.
-grilled cheese sandwiches.
-macaronni/cheese, homestyle only of course.
-pecan pies
-waffles and pancakes with honey or butter pecan syrup...with hillshire farms smoked sausage, or bacon, or sausage links.
-banana nut muffins.
oatmeal pecan cookies.
pound cake.
apple cobbler
Arby's roast beef sandwich with curly fries.
chocolate milk.
chocolate chip cookies
steak with A-1 sauce.
mozzerella cheese sticks / Lil' Caesar's Cheezy Breads.
Though I may eat like a pig it doesn't mean I'll just lie bed and become the new 1200 pound man, I would still go out and enjoy life especially if I only had a few months to live.
This turned out to be a longer list than I thought...but there it is....these are all the foods I love most. I could definitely enjoy a lifetime of ONLY these foods or until I succumbed to a diabetic induced coma. That's cool though, I'll just request in my will that all these foods be liquified and put in my food tube.
I'll be one happy fat ass vegetable.
__________________
-various italian foods(pizza, calzones[same damn thing isn't it?], lasagna, and spaghetti, and fettuchini alfredo...with garlic bread on the side)
-cheeseburgers(Fuddruckers of course. occasional swap out to Wendy's or preferrably Backyard Burger for "variety") with fries.
-chicken; baked or fried, or grilled, or grilled in a sandwich on pita bread, etc. For fast food chicken: Bojangles or Popeye's. They don't have popeye's around here and no, I don't care if I'm living the racial stereotype of all blacks love fried chicken. It tastes good dammit!
I fucking hate watermelon though.
-kroger's Peanut Butter Passion ice cream.
-grilled cheese sandwiches.
-macaronni/cheese, homestyle only of course.
-pecan pies
-waffles and pancakes with honey or butter pecan syrup...with hillshire farms smoked sausage, or bacon, or sausage links.
-banana nut muffins.
oatmeal pecan cookies.
pound cake.
apple cobbler
Arby's roast beef sandwich with curly fries.
chocolate milk.
chocolate chip cookies
steak with A-1 sauce.
mozzerella cheese sticks / Lil' Caesar's Cheezy Breads.
Though I may eat like a pig it doesn't mean I'll just lie bed and become the new 1200 pound man, I would still go out and enjoy life especially if I only had a few months to live.
This turned out to be a longer list than I thought...but there it is....these are all the foods I love most. I could definitely enjoy a lifetime of ONLY these foods or until I succumbed to a diabetic induced coma. That's cool though, I'll just request in my will that all these foods be liquified and put in my food tube.
I'll be one happy fat ass vegetable.
__________________
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Stupid things that freak me out
Those big eyed, dark eyed gray type of aliens commonly seen on shows like Sightings, Unsolved Mysteries, and whatever else. Those fuckers always gave me the creeps, especially when they're sticking their damn probes up somebody's pooper
Then there was the intro for that old show Tales from the Darkside. I found it interesting that nothing in the show was as scary as the intro except that episode when the little girl's teddy bear came to life and ate the family.
Oh yeah, there was those "last known photos" of missing/presumed dead people on Unsolved Mysteries. Somehow, those last known photos usually looked quite disturbing, I dunno why... maybe they had a death aura around them that gave me the heebie jeebies if you believe in that sort of thing.
I also didn't like to see people in dark rooms with their faces blurred out to conceal identity...something about that was also "nightmare fuel". (*it was even worse if they added voice distortion. Great, now you've made it look like a DEMON of darkness with no face is sitting right there in the chair in some interview....yeah, that's nice for a 10 year old in the 80s to see.)
Nothing else I've seen on tv compares to those things.
Then there was the intro for that old show Tales from the Darkside. I found it interesting that nothing in the show was as scary as the intro except that episode when the little girl's teddy bear came to life and ate the family.
Oh yeah, there was those "last known photos" of missing/presumed dead people on Unsolved Mysteries. Somehow, those last known photos usually looked quite disturbing, I dunno why... maybe they had a death aura around them that gave me the heebie jeebies if you believe in that sort of thing.
I also didn't like to see people in dark rooms with their faces blurred out to conceal identity...something about that was also "nightmare fuel". (*it was even worse if they added voice distortion. Great, now you've made it look like a DEMON of darkness with no face is sitting right there in the chair in some interview....yeah, that's nice for a 10 year old in the 80s to see.)
Nothing else I've seen on tv compares to those things.
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
Oh boo hoo for me.
I was at the store the other day doing the grocery shopping thing and I noticed a girl wearing a really tight gym outfit... I mean this thing was painted on and yes, she did have a great body. It was obvioius she paind her dues in the gym to attain such a physique.
Anyway, when I saw this chick walking by me I didn't look at her like a piece of meat like most guys would... no, I looked at her with envy. I was envious because my recent injury prevents me from doing any kind of weight lifting and limited cardio for two weeks! TWO WEEKS!! That's a freakin' eternity!!
Meanwhile this chica is prancing around in her sports bra, and super fit body while my crippled ass slowly turns into a mound of goo.
I hope a plane full of snakes falls on her.
Anyway, when I saw this chick walking by me I didn't look at her like a piece of meat like most guys would... no, I looked at her with envy. I was envious because my recent injury prevents me from doing any kind of weight lifting and limited cardio for two weeks! TWO WEEKS!! That's a freakin' eternity!!
Meanwhile this chica is prancing around in her sports bra, and super fit body while my crippled ass slowly turns into a mound of goo.
I hope a plane full of snakes falls on her.
SNAKES ON A PLANE
thought it was another kind of black snake
Man, I've been waiting for this movie forEVER! I mean, how can you not want to see a movie that expresses three of people's greatest fears?
You've got a plane (fear of flying), you've got snakes and you've got an angry black man with a gun!
Put all these elements together and you've got a sure fire blockbuster I tells ya! People will be talking about this movie for decades to come! Yaaaaaaaaaay!
See ya opening night!
MVP
Just thought I'd give a shout out to my new nephew Michael Vincent Pasto (MVP) who was born on August the 8th.
It's about time my sis crapped out a strapping young lad for a change.
Of course I'll be avoiding him like the plague until he grows out of his helpless screaming newborn infant phase... yeah... I believe I'll become part of his life when he's around five or something.... maybe six.
It's about time my sis crapped out a strapping young lad for a change.
Of course I'll be avoiding him like the plague until he grows out of his helpless screaming newborn infant phase... yeah... I believe I'll become part of his life when he's around five or something.... maybe six.
Tuesday, August 8, 2006
A funny thing happened at da gym last night...
this dude was working out with his girlfriend, (I see them there all the time,) anyway, they were doing some barbell shrugs and eventually the dude decides he's going to try to shrug 405 pounds. Now keep in mind this guy isn't small, but he isn't huge by any means and certainly not big enough to lift this kind of weight.
Well obviously, the girlfriend was thinking the same thing because while he was putting on the plates, she had this "oh my god, he's going to kill himself" look the entire time. In fact she asked him if he was sure about his actions.
Well I guess dude took it as motivation as he got set to lift the weight. I was mildly impressed when he actually got it off the bar and wondered if he actually is strong enough to shrug the weight after all. Well, that thought quickly went out of my noggin when he began jerking the barbell up like some kind of wounded bird with a bad case of palsy while making some kind of weird gurgling grunting sound. There was almost zero range of motion and I think half the gym was waiting for him to rip his arms out of their sockets.
He did about 4 "reps" as his girlfriend cringed with each spastic gesture.
When dude was done he asked her how he looked (I'm assuming he meant his form) and she just responded with "painful".
I kinda chuckled at her response and continued lifting my own humble weight.
Can't wait to see what kind of other wacky hijinks happen at my gym tonight.
Well obviously, the girlfriend was thinking the same thing because while he was putting on the plates, she had this "oh my god, he's going to kill himself" look the entire time. In fact she asked him if he was sure about his actions.
Well I guess dude took it as motivation as he got set to lift the weight. I was mildly impressed when he actually got it off the bar and wondered if he actually is strong enough to shrug the weight after all. Well, that thought quickly went out of my noggin when he began jerking the barbell up like some kind of wounded bird with a bad case of palsy while making some kind of weird gurgling grunting sound. There was almost zero range of motion and I think half the gym was waiting for him to rip his arms out of their sockets.
He did about 4 "reps" as his girlfriend cringed with each spastic gesture.
When dude was done he asked her how he looked (I'm assuming he meant his form) and she just responded with "painful".
I kinda chuckled at her response and continued lifting my own humble weight.
Can't wait to see what kind of other wacky hijinks happen at my gym tonight.
Monday, August 7, 2006
Laughing at inappropiate things
I was just thinking...a good "funny death" would be a situation where someone gets the classic pie in the face....then they fall over dead, as it's later found that the pie had cyanide or arsenic or some other poison in it. Turns out the clown that did it was a homicidal clown..the Silly Serial Killer, if you will. There have been lots of creative serial killers in history....why has no one used a cartoon theme? It would be quite entertaining... it even promted me to draw what said clown might look like. The cartoon is coming soon!
Anyway, that's the random thought that sparked this post....things we aren't supposed to laugh at. There's something I just don't like about the whole situation of pretending something isn't completely hilarious. For instance...you know good and damn well that the visual of someone falling down some stairs is a laugh riot. It's only "not funny" when it's happening to you, of course....or someone you actually care about. When I was a kid, the visual of someone falling always cracked me up, even if it was family...I didn't care, that shit was funny...especially if they were in the middle of talking before they fell. Dudes getting kicked in the balls... that always gets me too.
Chicks getting hit in the face. Though I would never physically hit a woman, unless she was trying to cut off my balls, the sight of one getting the dog shit punched out of her always leaves me in tears!
I remember when I was in high school I saw some couple having some dispute and all that crap when suddenly the chick lunges at him with a fucking knife. Dude reared back and punched her full force square in the nose! He had obviously broken it because you could hear the snapping sound a block away!
That wasn't the funniest part though, the funniest part was when she just stood there looking at the blood streaming out of her nose and then looks at him in shock and gives him that "I can't believe you hit me, I'm a girl" look! The she just sits down with the same shocked look on her face!
I guess I think that sort of thing is funny because you never expect it and in this case the man was completely justified, knocking her block off.
Domestic violence in general makes me laugh, too as long as it's not happening to anyone I care about. I never get sick of seeing domestic dispute number 34985098750033 on COPS. It always reminds you why they call those white tank-tops wife beaters.
I just love the way the dumbasses keep fighting like the cops aren't even there and it usually ends up with the dude getting dog piled or tazered which sends me into convulsions from laughing so damn hard. It's even funnier when the meth head loud mouth chick gets tasered and she's flipping and flopping and screaming like a fraggin' banshee. Yeah, she doesn't look so tough now with 50,000 volts going through her!
Rescue 911...that show was a gold mine of comedic chaos...
-the kid that blew his hand up with an m80. (I have it on tape somewhere)
-the girl that fell off a step ladder, and busted her arms on a window.
-a kid jumped in front of his grandma's lawnmower at the last second and tried to jump back....haha..he didn't jump away in time.
-Legendary: this one kid and his friends playing with fire. Kid brings out the gasoline...and begins to pour it on the smoldering area. The other kids' can sense this is about to go horribly wrong...and you see them slowly backing away...kid pours one little bit, *WHOOSH* dude instantly looks like the human torch. I was seriously in tears from laughing at this.
-there was another kid that went up in flames up in a treehouse. He uttered these great last words before the screaming began: "...hey my back feels warm..." Ah, the memories...if they put out Rescue 911 on dvd collections, I'd buy all seasons immediately.
Anyway, that's the random thought that sparked this post....things we aren't supposed to laugh at. There's something I just don't like about the whole situation of pretending something isn't completely hilarious. For instance...you know good and damn well that the visual of someone falling down some stairs is a laugh riot. It's only "not funny" when it's happening to you, of course....or someone you actually care about. When I was a kid, the visual of someone falling always cracked me up, even if it was family...I didn't care, that shit was funny...especially if they were in the middle of talking before they fell. Dudes getting kicked in the balls... that always gets me too.
Chicks getting hit in the face. Though I would never physically hit a woman, unless she was trying to cut off my balls, the sight of one getting the dog shit punched out of her always leaves me in tears!
I remember when I was in high school I saw some couple having some dispute and all that crap when suddenly the chick lunges at him with a fucking knife. Dude reared back and punched her full force square in the nose! He had obviously broken it because you could hear the snapping sound a block away!
That wasn't the funniest part though, the funniest part was when she just stood there looking at the blood streaming out of her nose and then looks at him in shock and gives him that "I can't believe you hit me, I'm a girl" look! The she just sits down with the same shocked look on her face!
I guess I think that sort of thing is funny because you never expect it and in this case the man was completely justified, knocking her block off.
Domestic violence in general makes me laugh, too as long as it's not happening to anyone I care about. I never get sick of seeing domestic dispute number 34985098750033 on COPS. It always reminds you why they call those white tank-tops wife beaters.
I just love the way the dumbasses keep fighting like the cops aren't even there and it usually ends up with the dude getting dog piled or tazered which sends me into convulsions from laughing so damn hard. It's even funnier when the meth head loud mouth chick gets tasered and she's flipping and flopping and screaming like a fraggin' banshee. Yeah, she doesn't look so tough now with 50,000 volts going through her!
Rescue 911...that show was a gold mine of comedic chaos...
-the kid that blew his hand up with an m80. (I have it on tape somewhere)
-the girl that fell off a step ladder, and busted her arms on a window.
-a kid jumped in front of his grandma's lawnmower at the last second and tried to jump back....haha..he didn't jump away in time.
-Legendary: this one kid and his friends playing with fire. Kid brings out the gasoline...and begins to pour it on the smoldering area. The other kids' can sense this is about to go horribly wrong...and you see them slowly backing away...kid pours one little bit, *WHOOSH* dude instantly looks like the human torch. I was seriously in tears from laughing at this.
-there was another kid that went up in flames up in a treehouse. He uttered these great last words before the screaming began: "...hey my back feels warm..." Ah, the memories...if they put out Rescue 911 on dvd collections, I'd buy all seasons immediately.
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