Waaah! (random rant)

You know what I hate? I fucking hate people who can’t accept responsibility for their own actions. Whenever something doesn’t go their way, somebody else is always responsible. God forbid that they could possibly be at fault! Perish the fucking thought! These fucktards lack the emotional maturity or are just plain too stupid to objectively look at their own actions and take the steps to fixing the problem. They could use this as a learning experience and make sure they don’t end up in a similar situation again, thus growing as an individual.

Noooo, it’s much easier to use someone as a scapegoat! It’s less of a hassle to take the easy way out and just bitch and whine and blame how so-and-so is such a selfish, cheating, lying, shitty piece of monkey crap who fucked up your life! Boo fucking hoo!
Well these selfish, cheating, lying, shitty pieces of monkey crap wouldn’t have been able to enter their lives if they didn’t let them in! These horrible people wouldn’t have been able to do what they did to them if they didn’t ignore the painfully obvious warning signs telling them to not get involved with them in the first place.
No, of course not, that would mean being held accountable for their actions. These empty sack punk asses need a serious kick in the ass (and a new set of balls as well).

I have been told that it’s “sooooo hard” for people to think in this way, especially if they grew up in a bad environment and there’s a certain age (mid 20s I think) when a person’s personality is pretty much set in stone. I say this is bullshit. It’s not an easy thing to do, but it’s not impossible as long as you swallow your pride, scrap up the courage to come out of your little comfort zone and step into the great unknown of self-improvement ( I speak from personal experience). However, if you’re perfectly happy being in your safe little world, then more power to you. Just ignore this rant. Just stay the fuck away from me when you bitch about some other so-and-so fucking you over because you let them.

If you’re too much of a pussy to do it on your own there’s always counseling, not all of them are completely useless you know. Personally I don’t see need to pay someone 200 bucks an hour to listen to me bitch and “discover” things about me that I can do by myself thank you very much. Then again, I’ve always been an exception to most rules, but that’s because I’m an amazingly awesome man

I’ve lost my train of thought, but you get the idea.

Fucking Santa

santa is a coke fiend

Santa...the good and jolly fat guy that we are told when we are younger, brings presents to everyone, but here's a question:

If Santa is so benevolent; then why does he hate poor people?

Just think about it: the children of wealthy families always get WAY more presents those of poor families thus proving that Santa is a biased elitist son of a bitch.

The fat mother fucker considers being poor is the greatest sin one can commit, so, that puts 'em on the 'naughty' list automatically...

Then again, it's not Santa's fault that poor people can't manage their finances...maybe if they weren't so hung up on 'Pimpin' their ride', or living in third world hellholes, they could afford to incur Santa's favor once in a while and get some decent presents for once.

Merry fucking Christmas, assholes.
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KING KONG = RACIST propaganda!!

Recently, I caught the original black and white King Kong on cable, and I realized something:
King Kong is an expression of the white subliminal fear of black people.

If you watch the original Kong, he really resembles all the racial stereotypes and exaggerated features that white people have perpetuated over the centuries.
Especially ones that were prevalent for the times that it was created in.

But lets just disregard the caricature facial features that Kong possessed and let's look at his actions:

HE STEALS WHITE WOMEN.

Think about it... he resembled the greatest fears of the white man.

A big strong uppity negro that takes all the fine ass white women (because everyone knows that even the purest white woman can't help herself in the face of a negro advance).
One ready to take on any challenge with the charisma to bang his chest and shout out his opinion in the face of his white devil opressors.

They loved him when he was on display and there for their amusement, but as soon as he threw off his chains and wanted to think and work for himself... he had to be put down.

King Kong was racial propaganda warning the white masses about future negro zealots like Malcom X, Martin Luther King, Muhammed Ali and Tupac.

The white men feared this gargantuan beast, but in the end they killed him.
They would not let him climb to the top.
They would stop him at any cost.

The times have changed but the message is still clear:
Sing and dance for the white folks, or they will put you down.


If you disagree with me you're wrong and retarded because I'm always right.

Dr. Phil no more!

I have this friend. She’s smart, witty, incredibly beautiful and very successful at what she does. However, she’s also involved in a somewhat unstable reoccurring relationship with some dude that seems to be a great big loser, yet she keeps bringing him back into her life time and time again for about two years now.

Now initially I did the whole “over protective tough love Dr. Phil” friend routine and constantly lectured her about how much she’s wasting her life by being with this guy and blah blah blah, but obviously this fell on deaf ears.
Then I stopped and analyzed the situation. I realized the only picture I have from this guy was from what my friend had told me about him while she was mad and I’ve learned from past experience that women tend to… exaggerate certain things, especially when they’re mad.

This latest drama with my friend is no different except in her case, she’s afraid. She has real feelings for this guy and it scares her. So as a defense mechanism she finds each and every flaw he has and blows them way out of proportion to try to convince herself that she’s better off without him when in reality, she can’t think of anyone else she’d rather be with.
This frightens her because the last long term relationship she was in was a complete disaster and she does not want to take that chance again.

Well instead of telling her what she should do I told her to do what she wanted to do., I suggested that she quit wasting so much time trashing the guy and concentrate on making it work with him because though I don’t understand why, she obviously has some strong feelings for him.
I also requested that she stop all the frivolous dating with guys she has no interest in just to help distract her feelings for this dude because that will only end up hurting someone.

Will she heed this request? Of course not. One thing is for certain is that I’m fucking over doing the Dr. Phil thing. I love all my friends and I’ll do anything I can to support them, but I’m not a goddamn therapist and I have decided to stop projecting my way of thinking onto them because that usually leads to disappointment and frustration. Also, to be perfectly honest, I DON’T CARE about their relationships. As long as they’re happy and not being beaten, let them do what they want.
I have enough issues of my own to work out anyway.

Random confession again

It was a few years ago, my girlfriend and I were going to do something special for our 2 year anniversary so I rented a pretty swanky hotel room so we could "celebrate" the occassion and what a celebration it was! It was perfect: flowers, dinner, sweet talk and all that crap.

Anyway while we were in the middle of doing some in depth celebrating I realized that a really big college football game was about to start and not wanting to ruin the moment, I "positioned" my girlfriend so I could watch the game without interruption. She never realized what was going one, but she did ask me why I kept "pointing" her to the edge of the bed.


My team won, she felt special, everybody wins! hooray!

NARNIA Review... BIG ASS SPOILERS.

Well I saw the movie during a midnight showing so I thought I’d post my thoughts.


First, the good: The child actors all did well with Lucy and Edmund being the best primarily because they had the meatiest roles. Mr. and Mrs. Beaver were also well done and their scenes were enjoyable and they cut their screen time out just when they were starting to become annoying. The witch was hot. She was pasty, a little scrawny and she had a really bad weave, but for some reason I found her very attractive. that's really all I can think of.

The problems: First off is the problem with Narnia itself - it just isnt great fantasy. I hear the books are definitely on the light weight side and there just isn’t a strong fantasy world, large drama, or much in the way of complex themes. This is very much a children's series, moreso than even Harry Potter (despite this there are several fucked up moments that I will go into later). Good and Evil are so painfully apparent and there is no real depth to their actions. Also it seems as though C.S. Lewis just wasnt very big on the whole imagination thing: Everything we are confronted with in Narnia is either just a regular animal who talks, or a creature taken from fantasy lore created long before his time (centaur, griffen, faun, etc). Narnia itself isnt very breathtaking, it's sole monument being some lame ass lamppost (not quite Eisengaard but it will have to do).

Speaking of Lord of the Rings (which I don’t like much either), much of Narnia was also shot in New Zealand, and WETA did several of the effects in it. This perhaps partially explains why everything in the film feels like "Lord of the Rings-Lite", especially the “climactic” battle. Although where LOTR had Gandalf, we get Santa Claus… I kid you not… fucking SANTA CLAUS. What the fuck??? He comes outta nowhere and gives the kids a buncha weapons and takes off to molest some elves. Yeah, thanks for sticking around for the climatic battle between good and evil, Kris Kringle. The fucker could have at least given the brats some automatic weapons. Oh well.

A few more problems I had with the movie itself were this new age, Enya-like score that permeated the scenes, the constant use of dramatic slow motion, and a few of the matte shots were really bad.

The climactic battle scene, while unimpressive, was also somewhat bewildering. Having these kids take up weapons and fight and kill in this war is a disturbing image and it was not lessened by the quick build up to it. We’re led to believe that these kids from some british town I can’t even pronounce in the 1940s are supposed to be expertly proficient at medieval weapons in a span of a couple of days, killing battle hardened monsters that were 3 times their size with ease??

Peter was especially savage during this but it didnt seem for any good reason. What did he really care about narnia for? It seemed as if once they met Mufasa, I mean, Aslan they were cast under a spell (maybe thats the metaphor). That’s another thing I don’t get… they were prophesized to defeat the evil queen and rule as kings and queens yet this lion seemed to be doing all the real work while they just stood around playing with themselves. Also, am I the only who noticed the Jesus parallel when Mufasa, I mean, Aslan sacrifices himself for the sins of another only to be brought back to life??? COME ON.
This Lion comes back from the dead, has thousands of followers and he can literally bring the dead back to life, kills the strangely attractive witch, thus leading everyone to victory yet four British brats are destined to rule??
Then he takes off! Probably to go film The Lion King or something..


Then we have the ending which always freaked me out as a kid and still does onscreen. So they spend the next 20 years or so in Narnia, grow up, and then eventually make their way back through the wardrobe and pop out as kids again - do they look at themselves and go "oh shit, we have to go through puberty again?!" I don’t know about anyone else but that’s NOT an experience I would want to go through again!

Random thought yet again.

I wonder what happens to a vegetarian that suddenly finds him/herself stuck in a life-or-death situation...a situation where cannibalism is the only way to survive? Say you survive a plane crash...there's no food of course...I bet no matter how strong your convictions are...those fat people in the wreckage will start looking pretty delicious after awhile... And this just reminded me...it would be wise to always have a bottle of A-1 steak sauce on me,if Ishould I get on a plane one day...you never know when something like this might happen, and it would be nice to already have my A-1 handy for just such an occasion.

Sometimes a cigar is only a cigar.

After braving the stores, working feverishly to meet deadlines at work that never seem to end, and going on an unplanned roadtrip to Virginia *shudder*, I chilled out at Liz’s place and watched some movies, during which, she told me something that really grabbed my attention. She told me that I have a tendancy to read too much into things.
Now I can already hear all of you who know me yell a collective “DUUUUH”, so I’ll just stop a bit and let you get it out of your systems.



Done yet? Good.


ANYway, Liz’s revelation made me think… she’s right… I do tend to read too much into situations. I’ve learned through bitter experience that people either (A) Don’t really mean what they say or (B) they mean a lot more than what they are saying. This is particularly true, in my own personal experience with women.
I’ve forgotten how many times I’ve been left scratching my head when a woman does the exact opposite or what she told me. Each time I’ve confronted them, they more or less tell me the same thing: “you should have listened” or “you should have known”.

That’s when it slowly dawned on me. There’s more to listening than just hearing what they have to say, you have to “see” what they say. Subtle gestures like breathing, eye movement, tone of voice, cadence of their speech, etc. The slightest mannerisms can speak volumes if you know what to look for and it has saved me from a lot of headaches in the past. In other words, I could tell when they were full of shit.
Not all these women are evil deceitful bitches from hell. A lot of them simply don’t know how to articulate their feelings at the time which is why they tend to change their minds weeks or months later. If you’re a man, who likes the ladies, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

A funny thing happened during my newfound “ability”. I got the reputation of being a “good listener” by being able to “understand” where not only women, but people in general were coming from which is funny, because I developed this ability to preserve my own sanity and nothing more. Oh well, happy accident I suppose and I take pride in being someone my friends and family can talk to.


However, despite how well my insight has served me over the years, there have been some downsides. Since I’ve been so conditioned to “look” for the truth, I often don’t recognize it when it’s right in my face. I learned that some people are WYSIWYGs (What You See Is What You Get) like me and have no problems articulating what they are feeling, but I don’t see this right away and assume they aren’t being 100 percent with me, which understandably causes some tension.
One rather painful realization of this fact came when Tacoma Home Girl punched me in the gut and told me to knock it off. Another recent and less painful realization was when Liz said she’s a simple kind of girl…. Oh and she told me to knock it off as well.
My deductive skills have far more benefited me than detracted, but I realize that I have to find a balance between finding the truth and seeing it for what it is.

Though a lot of times what a person initially says is just a thin veil covering the vast unconscious mind of an individual’s psyche and who knows…perhaps their very souls, but then again, sometimes a cigar is only a cigar.

Random words of wisdom

Never rub one off before you have to do something important. Doesn't matter what it is, you'll lose all motivation for doing it. You could be moments away from discovering the cure for freakin' cancer, spank it, then be like "fuck it, I'll do it tomorrow, I'm gonna take a nap now."

That is all.