Mind rot

I was at a friend's cookout party a couple of days ago, great party, nice people too--however a group of them started talking about tv shows that I have never heard of and from what they have described, I'm not missing a damn thing.

I got rid of my super duper deluxe cable a year ago and it looks like I made the right decision. The only channel I watch with any kind of regularity is the History channel and even that is starting to bore me. That would explain my newly rediscovered love affair with books... next thing you know I'll be sitting in a Starbucks, sipping some drink I can't even pronounce and wearing pretentious "smart" glasses I don't even need.
Peh, I'm more of a sitting under a tree reading a book kinda guy, but I'm weird like that.

Curious

I'm forever puzzled by the *situational homosexuality* that occurs so often in prison. I'd think that if a man were truly straight, he would not have sexual contact with another male; he would not desire that for any reason.....yet the aggressors in prison rape situations somehow get a pass on this!? Bullshyte, you raped a guy....it's a gay situation, there's really no question about it. At the very least, it's a bisexual thing I guess, but a man certainly can't claim to be straight after doing that. I also don't believe you can just change your "orientation" on the fly either. You can't magically become gay, or magically become straight.

More random things I hate.

-The whole "plus-size" bullshit and 300 pound women talking about being "beautiful" and railing against the discrimination of a world that refuses to accept their "natural beauty".
Bitch, you're fucking fat. You're not plus-size, you're not a big/strong/empowered woman, you are so fucking lazy and eat so damn much that you now have trouble walking short distances. Honestly, a friend of mine who's a nurse has told me many stories of people so fat that they broke their wrist trying to get up. Now that's just fucking ridiculous.

- People who criticize, but can't take criticism. If you can't take it then shut the fuck up and get out of my face.

- Church snobs. You're not any better than me or my parents because you go to church and like to pretend that you know something about Christ or religion in general. No, you are a smug, pompus asshole-- there's a big difference.

-Environmentalists: Stop talking so loud so that everybody will know within a 3 mile radius what you're attempting to save today by donating a small portion of your savings/giving blood/not eating animals. Help a real cause like inner city schools, AIDS research, cancer, youth programs and keep your smarminess to yourself! I can go out and do something nice and not have to rely on the reaction of others for that "warm fuzzy feeling", keep on fellating yourselves you pricks.

-"Thug life" and how so many of my fellow "bruhs" are apparently committed to anything and everything that makes black people in general look like retards. It's everything from speech to clothing to walking and even driving. Why take such pride in looking, sounding, and acting like a fool? It is especially prevalent in the South, where you find some of the most embarrasing examples of the race ever to walk the earth.

- Couch potatoes that watch stupid talk shows all day like jerry springer or dr.phil.

- hate girls/women who can't finish a single sentence without using the word "like". And all they talk about is "cute guys" and like...how cute they are.

- Rabid Liberals.

- the entire freeway suddenly brakes when a highway patrol is writing someone a ticket.

- Rabid Conservatives

- People who are terrified of silence and get on my case when I don't fill the air with idle chit chat. Just because I'm not talking doesn't mean I'm "angry" or having a bad time, it simply means that I don't have anything to say at the moment. Sheeesh, don't project your insecurities on me.

- People that are afraid to step out of their boundaries and try something new

Pure commercial hatred.

-herpes commercials......... It's like some nasty slut is on there like "It's not the end of the world for me, because I use valtrax" at the end it says "YOU CAN STILL PASS HERPES EVEN WHILE TAKING VALTREX" so it should be the end of the world for you, but you just don't care

-The geico commercials were already played out, with the "I just saved a bunch of car insurance blah blah blah" now they got this stupid lizard and its even more annoying.

They should just combine them all into one:

"'ello, luv. The bad news is it seems you've got 'erpes. I've got this medicine 'ere. It'll give you stomach pains, diarrhea, and more 'erpes."
"What's the good news?"
"I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico."

-"It's not lacking in meat, and that's what a real woman needs." Banshee cackle aside, fuck you, you ugly slut. God, I wanted to shove my foot in her cock garage for saying that!
As if the racial and sex stereotypes weren't bad enough, you have the bullshit sense of entitlement to a guy with a huge dick? Fuck you. Go get some fucking breast implants before bitching about size. By the way, the last thing I want to think about when I'm eating a damn sandwich for lunch is penis innuendo. Thanks for ruining my appetite, as if your looks didn't do that already.
Her friend was hot though.


Geico. So easy a caveman could do it.



-"Red Bull gives you wings!" No, it fucking doesn't. You know what else it doesn't give you? Competent artists and animators and voice actors and writers for your commercials. And you know what that doesn't give you, Red Bull? My fucking interest in your product and my money. How about you change your slogan to "Red Bull doesn't taste like shit anymore"? But make it true first.

Another weak ass commercial, but for Lean Pockets instead of Hot Pockets:

Bunch of retards playing poker when one of their girlfriends comes home. "GEE YOU GUYS ARE FOUR OF A KIND."

Squirelly Retard: FOUR OF A KIND???!!!! I FOLD!

....what? That's some of the gayest shit I've ever fucking seen, no offense to any gay people who might be reading this. But you should disown that fucking commercial, because that shit is so gay I'm sure it's responsible for hate crimes.

I like Ovaltine commercials, they remind me why I never hang out with Mormons... filthy animals.

I also hate those bodyspray commercials more than anything else. Are there really nerdy desperate guys expecting random models to break into their house and molest them as soon as they put the spray onto their acne-filled pasty bodies?

Oh god. the herpes commercial is on RIGHT NOW!

BLASPHEMY!!

So I was talking to my friend earlier today and the subject of pizza came up. We were talking about the kinds of things we've put on pizza, what's the best commericial pizza, etc and that's when he told me that he loves putting mayonaise on his pizza. Fucking MAYONAISE!
What kind of fucked up insanity is that??
Mayo on anything is pretty nasty, but Mayonnaise on a pizza is a SIN. The instant someone thought of that, God Himself should've come down in a flash of light, saying "wait, wait HOLD the fuck up. I will END you if you go any further with that."

I couldn't believe he would actually do that to nature's perfect food, Next time I see him in person, I'm going lay his ass out with a devastating right hook.

bleh!!

Pay the price, whore!

I usually don't give a flying fig about celebrity gossip, news, lives, etc, but I read that Paris Hilton got sentenced to jail for 45 days. Something about violating her parole. I think it's hilarious of course, especially after she allegedly broke down and cried, screaming "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" like the little spoiled punk ass she is, while her mother just shook her head in disbelief and also cried.
Of course she'll be doing this time in some rich cupcake prison, but maybe I'll be spared from looking at her ugly mug on every magazine for 45 days anyway.

But you know what gets me?? Is the disbelief that she and her mother have in regards to breaking the law. I mean people who get that rich just dont live in reality with the rest of us. They are shocked when they are actually called to account for breaking the law just like regular people.

So your daughter has to spend 45 nights in jail. Cry a fuckin river lady. Go console yourself with your billions. You at least had the benefit of a high priced lawyer to defend your ass. Joe blow would have had a public defender which is about as useful as an umbrella in a hurricane.

"But Im rich!!! I shouldnt have to obey the laws or get punished if I dont!!!!"


Its her mother's "rich untouchable" mentality that has allowed the paris hilton beast to come into being in the first place. Does the law care if you "didnt know" your license was suspended?? No. As far as the law is concerned, it is YOUR responsibility to KNOW what is going on with YOUR shit. Ignorance is not an excuse.

" oh well no one ever told me i couldnt drive" you know what paris? people prolly NEVER tell you "no"

I wish I could have been there to see that whore cry when the sentence was passed down.

Society is tired of seeing rich people get off the hook. Maybe they made an example of Paris because she is so high profile, but oh well.

Maybe paris should think about the fact that after she completes her 45 days in a minimum security jail for rich people she will go back to her lifestyle as if nothing happened. Any normal person who goes to jail has to deal with all sorts of shit when they come out. THey may have lost their job, their families may have distanced themselves, they may be facing financial crisis...
Anyway, i applaud the judge who handed out the sentence.

Heh, maybe we'll get really lucky and she ends up getting a shiv in the back!
I dream of that day--talk about someone who has nothing to offer the human race in any way--a true dead end in the gene pool.

__________________

immigrants

So today a bunch of people staged protests around the nation to raise awareness and support to give illegal immigrants full citizenship (yawn) by marching and boycotting and generally making a whole lot of racket.

One thing I couldn't help but notice is the lack of non hispanic illegal immigrants marching. What about the chinese, the hatians, the africans, canadians and various european illegal immigrants? Do they not qualify? Is this reserved only for the hispanic illegals? That hardly seems fair... I'm sure the afore mentioned non-hispanic immigrants work just as hard and are exploited just as much as they are so should they not get a piece of the citizenship pie?

When the government caves in (and they will... they pussies) and give the illegal hispanic immigrants full citizenship, I wonder if that includes the "other" illegals out there.

Because making just one group of people above the law is wrong.

Plumber's crack

Why does it still exist? In this day and age, why in the blue hell does it still exist??

I have never understood how someone can get dressed, go outside in public and not realize that their pants are hanging past their waist.
Are they in denial or do they just don't give a damn? Perhaps they just enjoy giving the world the privilege of beholding their hairy pimply glory as they bend over to pick up a random object.

I wonder how these people shop when I see them. Do they just pick out some random pair of pants that looks like it might come sort of close to fitting them and then say "Eh, close enough" and buy the pants without even trying them on? I guess since they can't be bothered to try on the pants itwould be too much to hope for them to buy a belt.

Maybe they truly don't know and all it would take is for someone to walk up to them and inform them that their hairy crevice is offending the general public. Of course no one ever does, myself included. I would much rather take a snapshot of the offending spectacle with my phone and send it to a few of my friends and remind them that I really do care that much.

The only people who can get away with the dreaded plumber's crack is a hot chick, of course they can get away with just about anything, but that's a rant for another day.

In the meantime, all you non hot chick peole rocking the crack, STOP IT. Jesus thanks you.