This just in!

The lost audio tape of princess Diana will be aired on television and yet.... I STILL DON'T GIVE A FUCK!!! thank you.

But....you don't sound black

Ever since I was a kid I've heard motherfuckers tell me this all the time. It's especially funny when non-black people tell me this. WHAT THE FUCK is a black person supposed to sound like???!!! These fuckers whose only exposure to black people is what the see on tv have the balls to tell me that I don't sound black??!!! Just because I speak proper english, don't dress like a clown, listen to rap exclusively and don't walk like a damn cripple, I'm not black enough?? FUCK YOU! It used to bug the hell outta me before, but I've learned to let it slide, but no I guess I've come full circle.



Once again, to all you FUCKTARDS that have told me that I don't sound black, act black or whatever, FUCK YOU AND DIE!!!!



have a nice day, assholes.

Cleaning done

For those of you who have doubted me, I finished cleaning my apartment a full day early! Ha! I even cleaned out my fridge! Bring it on!!

Retarded people.

I was taking a back road to work when I nearly hit a guy who was walking into incoming traffic on the side of a VERY narrow road. I was pissed! I thought, "Is this guy retarded or what??!!" Then I got a look at the guy and he really was retarded! I'm talking he really had Down Syndrome. I actually felt bad. But I flipped him off anyway.



If that wasn't crazy enough, this mother fucker literally walk RIGHT AT my car. I swear if I hadn't swerved, he would've been dead! This happened downtown in the peak of morning rush hour! How he wasn't killed I'll never know! At least the other guy had Down Syndrome to blame for his stupidity. This guy was just a plain dumb ass!! I really hope he doesn't further contaminate the gene pool by reproducing. When I think about the damage to my car if I did hit this fucker, I get even more pissed off!

The happy host

Well, looks like I'm hosting Tanz and her friend Crystal at my place this weekend to celebrate Tanz's birthday. Originally, she wanted me to come down to Dalton, but I said hell no. I would meet her as far as Chattanooga unless they want to drive all the way to Knoxville (which I know she hates doing) to spend the weekend with me. Well imagine my surprise when she said she would drive to Knoxville! So now I gotta clean this dump up again. Just when I'm getting used to wallowing in my own filth! I swear she's just doing this to annoy me!

PF Chang women

I went over to PF Chang's to talk to that cute server there I saw a few weeks ago and coincidently enough, I saw her outside, smoking a cigarette! Gross! To make matters worse, she was acting all ghetto and ignorant! Needless to say, all attraction just disappeard. I went inside to check out the b-ball game and that's when I saw another PF Chang hostess who had the most incredible ass I have seen in awhile! I've never seen a ghetto booty so perfectly proportioned on a white girl before! It was like spotting bigfoot or something! Too bad I didn't have my camera! Truly amazing!

I told Lonnie about it later on and he asked how old she was. I said she was her early twenties. He told me that she may look good now, but by the time she hits her late twenties, she'll have a serious case of THUNDER THIGHS.

Like I wanna keep her around for that long. Nah, this was a pure and simple case of lust. If I were the type, I would "hit it and quit it" as the kids say nowadays!

At least I'm honest!

Saturday night out

I spent most of the day and some of the night hanging out with my sister and niece. It was fun. I got to see her fancy new 36 inch Flatscreen TV. I have to admit I was fairly impressed.... and jealous!

Afterwards, I was in the mood to "people watch" and took a little tour of downtown. There was nothing happening in the Old City and as usual, every place had a cover including Barley's! I couldn't believe it! I could always count on this place to never have a cover charge, but this time they were asking for 7 bucks! Just because some lame ass band was playing there. They wouldn't even let me go upstairs! Fuck that! It was filled with a bunch of drunken fratties and sorostitutes anyway.

Peeked inside The Urban Bar, but it looked like some kind of weird euro looking circus people were in there and rather than find out what was going on, I quickly turned around and left.

Next, I went over to the Preservation Pub. No cover, but it was your typical scene of middle aged people and college yahoos. I didn't stay long.

After that, I went over to the Downtown Grill and I saw that cute bartender there....just in time to see her snuggle up with her boyfriend. I was surprised on how old the guy was. I guess it could've been her dad, but fathers don't massage the middle of their daughter's backs and kiss them softly on the cheek. Well, not normal fathers. Either way, it was making me ill. I stayed a little while since there were some interesting characters to look at.



Eventually I made my way to 4620 and it was Mardi Gras night. The place was packed, but as usual, most of the crowd consisted of couples and "bitch packs". I noticed a girl checking me out, but she wasn't my type at all... too scrawny. I wasn't there to pick up women anyway. There was good music though and I enjoyed people watching. I saw a woman who goes to my kickboxing class and I have to say she looked pretty good outside the gym. I decided to leave when I saw some drunken asshole drop his cigarette on the floor. I kept thinking all it would take is a small piece of paper or a puddle of spilled vodka to catch fire and next thing you'll know, you'll have a stampede of drunken, hysterical people rushing for the exits. There were only two exits, btw and one of them were UP stairs. Dangerous situation indeed.

Anyway, I called it a night and went home. I was about ready for bed, when my friend Tanz calls me a 4am. Actually her friend called on behalf of her since Tanz was pretty messed up. Her friend seemed pretty cool and I could hear Tanz yelling in the background or something. Eventually I talked to her and I'd forgotten how emotional she gets when she's drunk. She kept reminding me how much she "loves me" and blah blah blah and how everyone is beautiful and happy and whatever. Funny girl. She also told me that she got some guy whose ass she slapped to give her a hundred bucks for a scarf her grandmother made her. He gave her this money in hopes that she would come back inside the bar with him, but her friend said to take the money and split because this guy's sober friends will tell him to get his money back. So surprisingly, Tanz took the money and ran! That's my girl! I think she spent some of it at Waffle House.

Anyway, after that, I went to bed at around 6am. Tired.......

Fake ass lesbians!

I know that nowadays, being bi, or bi-curious seems to be a popular thing for females, but I think it's bullshit. I know a ton of girls who say they're bi, won't go down on another chick, but wouldn't have a problem with a girl going down on them. IF YOU WON'T LICK THE CLIT, YOU ARE NOT BI, YOU'RE JUST FULL OF SHIT AND DON'T REALLY CARE WHO GOES DOWN ON YOU. One of my exes is like this. She's going around telling me she's bi now. So I asked her if she'd go down on a chick. I was told no. But she'd let a girl do that to her.



Bullshit posturing.



The only reason this chick even said that dumb shit is cause it's the "in" thing to say right now, and because it'll allow her to fuck around with somebody else, while in a relationship. Most guys aren't going to go "No, honey, don't make out with other girls" cause guys like to see that shit. Personally, I've never been turned on my girl girl action. It's just never done anything for me. I rarely watch porn nowadays anyway. When I do watch it, I have to be able to relate to it in order to get turned on. I can't relate to lesbian sex at all. Even when they use a strap on...bah!



Here's another thing. I was talking to some random jack ass about this girl he knows and how she's turned to the other side cause she was mistreated by guys. Personally, I know a lot of females that have done some stupid shit like this and it just amazes me because of how little sense it actually makes.



"I'm with a girl right now cause a man treated me badly"



WTF. You are stupid.



I can understand not wanting to get hurt. I mean, seriously, who wants to get hurt in a relationship? Nobody wants to, but why would running to the other team to find solace make shit better after the fact? There are just as stupid ass women out there as stupid ass men. That's not a solution.



Bullshit posturing. That's what it comes down to.



You can't help who you're attracted to and saying you're attracted to females when you're a female is popular right now cause it gets girls more attention because they're percieved as sexually free and open, or liberated, or any other bullshit. Switching up sides like that cause you were hurt is stupid and only accepted cause for girls, going both ways is popular right now. The only reason most people don't look at a chick crazy when she says something like this is cause most dumb ass guys like the idea of a woman fucking another woman, without actually thinking about why they're doing it. If you've been strictly dickly all your life, and then switch it cause you got involved with somebody who wasn't good to you, you're a fucking moron. Jesus, I've been hurt by girls before, but I'm not going to go fuck a man in the ass because of it. If you're bi-curious in the first place, then by all means, go do that, but doing so under such a stupid fucking pretense is bullshit posturing.



If you like clits, great. If you like dicks, great, but don't be something you're not cause it's popular.



WTF is wrong with people these days?

Keeping it real

I was watching ElimiDate last night which is a show where two people go on a date while one of the participants's exes try to ruin it by talking trash about them to their date, via mini headphones.

Anyway in this particular episode, the guy's two exes try to screw things up by constantly telling the girl that he tends to do certain "gay things" like dancing at gay bars, having gay friends, waxes his eyebrows, knows about make-up, etc.

His date called him out on all these things throughout the night, but I have to hand it to the guy, he played it cool and had NO problem admitting that he does things that people might consider being "gay". He was secure enough in his heterosexuality to enjoy these things without having his manhood threatened and pretty much told her to take it or leave it, thus making the ex-girlfriends look like immature middle schoolers.



Well the girl must've been impressed by this guy because she chose to stick with him for a second date while the extremely bitter ex-girlfriends kept calling him gay.



Just goes to show you that you should just be yourself and not give a damn what people think. I have to admit it though.... the guy did act a little light in the loafers... must be a metrosexual.

Got caught

I was at the local store in the Old City and I got caught checking out a rather attractive woman there. I just looked at her and smiled. Meh.... she caught me looking at her, what else am I going to do? Run away...... please...

Party flop

Oh yeah, on Friday, I was supposed to be going to a party that a friend of a friend of Lisa's was throwing. Turned out this friend wasn't such a close friend after all. In fact she turned out to be kind of a bitch and the plans were scrapped. Oh well.... if she was a bitch, there's no telling how her buddies were. Just as well... I was supposed to be celebrating the Weekend of Ken anyway.

Sunday, at the homestead.

Spent most of the day hanging out at the parents' place. Didn't really do anything much but shop for groceries, pay the bills and all the other fun and exciting things to do on a crappy snowy Sunday. Oh yeah, I went over to Borders in the morning to actually buy a book on Saturday, but when I saw the size of the line, I just said fuck it and took off. After putting the book back of course.

Weekend of Ken

This was Kenny's last weekend in K-town before he goes over to New Mexico to start his federal training. Friday, I just hung out with him at the bookstore and we had some dessert over at Charlie Peppers and stuff (my treat). Later on we went over to Wal mart where he bought some traveling supplies and I got 'Joe's Apartment' from the infamous DVD bargain bin. Afterwards, we parted ways.



On Saturday, the WOK continued as we hung out at Lonnie's place where we ate pizza and watched a humorous Hong Kong movie. It was something like the Matrix meets Back to the Future in Japan. I informed Lonnie about the Hong Kong movie formula: If you ever see an asian man with blonde or bright red hair, HE'S EVIL!!! It's true.

Kenny's sisters called him, wanting him to come over to a bar where one of them worked so they could say good bye or whatever. Kenny didn't wanna go because he knew it would be loud and crowded and despite Lonnie and me trying to convince him otherwise, he ended up going, but not before we played a couple of video games.

Anyway, we said our good byes, good lucks and crap like that and I headed home.

Buds again

Mariell and I are friends again as of Thursday Feb. 12th. (I think) Yay! I'm glad. She's a good kid and a better friend.

I think I'm in love.

I went to the store to pick up some milk and I saw the most incredible sight! It was a heart shaped Reeces peanut butter valentine! The sucker was at least 5 inches around!! And it was solid, not that hollow chocolate crap! I really had to stop myself from buying one. mmmmmmmm....... giant reeces heart valentine..... *drools*

I almost got knocked the fuck out!

A few minutes ago I was turning the blind corner of our hallway and almost ran into my co-worker Eric, who just happens to be a martial arts bad ass and knows a dozen ways to kill you with his pinky toe. Anyway, I startled him and he instinctively got in some kind of weird stance and looked like he was gonna take my head off. He laughed and said, "man, I didn't know who you were" and laughed. After checking to see if my pants were still dry, i laughed too.

Pissed off co-worker mystery solved.

Okay, as you know, my co-worker mariell has been giving me the cold shoulder lately and I have no idea why. So today, I tried IMing her to see what was up and she actually blocked my account. Unblievable. The only things I can think of that would make her this upset is that she read my earlier "annoying co-worker" post for some reason assumed I was talking about her. Why on earth she would think of such a thing I'll never know. The other reason was the time I teased a week ago a Barley's and she looked a little annoyed, but that can't be it since we used to tease each other all the time.

My first reaction was to go to her and apologize my guts out for the misunderstanding, but then I thought about it: For once, I did absolutely NOTHING wrong. The only thing I did was rant about a co-worker who was bugging me. Nothing more, nothing less-- yet for some unknown reason she automatically assumed I was talking about her. That's ridiculous and unfair and I'm sure as hell not going to apologize over something I didn't even do.

Technically I tried talking things out with her, like I do to all my friends I piss off, but it's kind of hard to do that when that person shuts down the main artery of communication at the office which is IM. Good thing I didn't try talking to her in person, I probably dodged quite a bit of drama there.

Besides, like I said, I did nothing wrong. That is of course if I'm right about her misinterpreting the post as being directed towards her. If it's something else entirely, I don't even want to know.



If she wants to assume the worst about me and piss away a year of friendship over something so stupidly mudane and do the whole "silent treatment" routine there's nothing I can do about it. It just tells me the friendship wasn't as strong as I thought. Shame. I'm too old for these shennanigans.



Once again: I need more GUY friends. Never had a dude give me the silent treatment. Well, there was my gay friend Ron, but he got over it in a couple of hours. I wonder how that fool is doing anyway?

I'm back.

Well after a week long hitatus from the gym, I made my return on Monday and my body must've definately needed the rest because I had more strength and energy than before! I even added two more lifts to my circuit (can't let it off that easy!) Yeah, I've been missing the endorphine high. All of last week I was cranky, sluggish and tired. Maybe the shitty weather had a part of it, but I think my body was going through some sort of withdrawl because all I was interested in was being a potato. Oh well, look forward to the next workout!

okay....

Got the cold shoulder from Mariell today and I don't know why. Acted like I killed her dog or something. Perfect... as if I don't have enough complications in my life right now.

Then again, maybe I misread the whole situation. Who knows. Wish I had time to figure it out.

Sunday, still a potato

I was still on the couch, watching the movie 'Cabin Fever' that Candy left when Chaunda called. We chatted for awhile and she asked if she could come over and hang out. I said sure. One thing I don't have to worry about Chaunda is inane conversation. She asked what movie I wanted to see and off the top of my head, I said 'Blair Witch Project'. I dunno why I said that. I guess it's because I've never seen the movie before and I finally wanted to see how good or how bad it really was.



When Chaunda got here, we watched Cabin Fever first which was a lot more entertaining than I thought. It was badly acted, the plot was dubious and "borrowed" heavily from other movies and it was pretty gory. In other words: Instant Cult Classic!

We both noticed that the word "fuck" was said a LOT of times in this movie. So much so that you would be shitfaced in a few minutes if you dared to do a drinking game to this movie. You know: take a shot of booze everytime "fuck" was said, to all my clueless readers.



Then we watched the Blair Witch. Good lord this movie sucked. It really sucked BAD. I wanted to strangle the female lead sooooooo badly. Stupid cow wouldn't admit that she didn't know what the fuck she was doing and she eventually got everyone killed.

It was so lame. I feel sorry for the suckers who paid 8 bucks to see this movie when it first came out and the whole "Blair Witch phenomenon" was in full gear. Whatta scam. Interesting concept, but poor execution. I felt more ill than scared. The people were so damn annoying, they couldn't die fast enough for me. Especially the damn woman!



After that shit fest, we watched Law and Order for awhile until I eventually gathered the strength to do some grocery shopping and I think atrophy was starting to set in anyway. I hugged Chaunda good bye and drove over to Wally World. Not a bad night for being a potato

Just being a potato

I made a vow to do as little as possible all weekend since I really wasn't in the mood to do anything. I pretty much set up camp on my couch, watching tv and eating peanut butter sammiches. It was the last weekend of my day off from working out and healthy eating so I might as well get as much slacking time as possible.

My friend Candice called and asked if she could hang out with me and watch movies since she and her boyfriend are having yet another argument. Why these kids are still dating, I'll never know. I told her don't expect me to go out of my way to be a good host since I really wasn't in the mood for company, but she said it was cool. It was better than sitting at home all night or hanging out with her "bitchy" girlfriends. She just needed to hang out with someone who "didn't care about shit" and didn't do the whole "gossip" thing. I told her as long as she kept the talking down to a minimum, she could come over.



When she came over, she brought some Olive Garden and a few DVDs which surprised the hell outta me. I really wasn't expecting her to do something like that, but she said she felt obligated to show her appreciation for me inviting her over even though I wasn't in the mood for company.



Wasn't a bad night. We had an impromptu Horror-moviethon with 'Wrong Turn', 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' and 'The Thing'. We also saw 'A man Apart' with Vin Diesel which sucked so much ass.

She yapped about the bf, but not much. The chatter was centered mostly on making "observations" about the films.

Anyway, both of us ended up passing out on the couches. She took off for work at around 7am the next day. I stayed on the couch and pretty much stayed there for most of the day.

Kenny the G-man.

Found out on Friday that Kenny will be shipping off to New Mexico next weekend to start his fancy FBI training for 10 weeks and then will be assigned immediately after to DC. I'm happy for the pudgy little guy and he seems excited about it as well. I joined him and Lonnie at Borders (eventually) to chat and later had some grub with him at Charlie Peppers (Lonnie declined to go).

The waitress gave him a free ice cream with extra scoops and coffee. She obviously was digging him and she barely aknowledged my existence, but that didn't stop her from charging me for my nachos. Of course Kenny just blew it off as always. sigh.....

Anyway, maybe now that he has his dream job, he'll finally find a nice DC woman. Who knows.... anything is possible.

Annoying co-worker

Man, my co-worker is loud. Everyday I can hear their voice yelling thoughout the office even with my door closed. I used to think their banter was clever and cool. Now I just find it so freakin' irritating. Wow! That joke was just as funny as the last 12352 times you told it! Moron. Oh well... I can't choose who I work with. Yet.

Germ free kitchen!

I just read that the kitchens with the most germs and bacteria are the ones that look the cleanest. That's because when you wipe your counters and such, your actually spreading the germs around. However, the kitchens with the least amount of germs are the ones belonging to swinging bachelors like myself who prefer to let their dirty dishes and counters wallow in their muck. HAH!

Asian girls don't like brothas?

I was chatting with an old friend on the phone who lives in Atlanta and he was telling me about a little problem he was having: He couldn't seem to score with asian girls. He asked my advice since I've actually gone out with several. By several I mean a total of THREE. Yeah, I'm a real expert. Anyway, he kept asking me what was my "secret" to get them to go out with me. He was acting like it was some ancient mystery buried in the sands of time for millions of years and he was talking to me like I've accomplished the impossible by GASP! Dating an Asian woman!!!



What is this fascination a lot of men have for them?? I know too many guys who dream of one day having an asian girlfriend or whatever. What is it some kind of status symbol? Silly me, I must've missed that memo because they're no better from any other woman out there.

Anyway, I found out the real reason my friend was in such awe of me and it was because I was a BLACK guy dating an asian girl. I was a little surprised by this and asked him to explain and he said think about it.... how many asian girls have you seen with black men. He had a point since I haven't seen any around here. But this is Knoxville after all. He said it wasn't much better in Atlanta.



He said the only guys they go for are other asians or white boys. The only black men who get asian women are usually knee deep in the hip hop culture and I guess it's cool to be dating someone like that. He's shit outta luck because he embraces the hip hop culture about as much as I do... that's why we're friends.



He then went on to say that white guys have more success with them because of the misconception of white people being more "accetable" to date than blacks. An asian girl who dates a black guy or any other "minority" is seen as "cheap" or a "ghetto wannabe". Or they're just experimenting, seeing if the "black myth" is true (he said the same for white girls, btw). They MIGHT fuck you, but don't expect them to introduce you to their friends or family anytime soon (I've known a couple of broads like that) Bottom line, he said, blacks are at the bottom of the barrel and we have to work that much harder at the whole interracial thing.

Wow.... that did wonders for my self-esteem. So let me get this straight... If a female outside my race dates me, it's because they are whores or trash who've been shunned by every other race, so they "settle" with mine? Okay...



I told him he was just being bitter since he hasn't fufilled his "asian girl fantasy". I swear, the guy has been with women from just about every race and nationality I can think of, but I guess that isn't good enough. I think his ego was a bit bruised from being rejected (I have to admit, he's pretty smooth).



Anyway, now that I think about it, he may have a point with the tiering of social/racial groups, something I've known since childhood, but the rest of his theory, I just don't know. Anyhoo, I told him my "secret" was just being myself. He called me a liar. I said I wasn't. It was 15 minutes before he believed me and thanked me for being absolutely NO help whatsoever.



I try.

Taking a break.

Well after 6 straight weeks of intense circuit training and various cardio sessions, I'm going to listen to my body and take the week off from working out. I truly must be an addict because I really had a hard time stopping myself from going to the gym and I had a hard time going to sleep.

I think I'll use this time to do some artwork, particularly the character sketches for my little animation project.



Or just play video games.

Superbowl? There's a Superbowl??

I have absolutely no interest in the Superbowl anymore. It's been this way for a number of years now. Hell, I don't even care about the commercials. I hope a new eppy of the Simpsons is on tonight. That I can watch.

WORST. MOVIE. EVER.

I rented House of the Dead last night. My god, I knew it would be a bad movie but I never imagined HOW incredibly bad it would be! It wasn't even the fun kind of bad like a Toxic Avenger or Ghost of Mars, this was just soooooooo BAD! I thought this movie might have potential because the director said he was heavily influenced by Romero's Night, Day, and Dawn of the Dead movies, but I was wrong. I don't think Romero would ever dream of having zombies do back flips in the air and leap 20 feet straight and and perform Matrix like kung fu! Hell, these freaking things could swim fast than olympic class swimmers! Pure Crap!!

The ONLY thing that sparked my interest was one of the chicks in the movie had a very impressive body, but she never got naked! Blah! Then again, it's the first of the month so every broad suddenly looks good.

Heater's working!

Well I finally fixed my heater. Turns out all I had to do is push the thermostat back into the wall. How it got knocked out of the wall, I have no idea, but at least the damn thing works now!