Ron's return

I was at the mall Saturday trying to find a certain Happy Bunny shirt to give to a friend of mine for xmas, when Ron walks up to me and asks me if these pants would look good on him. I told him that they might be a little too big for him and I didn't like the color. He told me I was probably right and continued to look around.

Did i mention that I hadn't seen Ron in almost two years? That's the kind of friendship we have. He just pops in after disappearing for a few months and it's just like he never left. No obnoxious HELLOS or questions about what we've been up to or any crap like that.

Anyway, after introducing me to his latest sugar daddy (forgot his name) we started walking around the mall making crude observations about people and "young love". Ron muses how shocked the girlfriend will be when she finds out that her boyfriend in a closet case and leaves her for a young philipino stud named "Javier".

For the rest of the night, Ron tried to get me to come out of the closet myself...he's been trying for 10 years with no luck so far. I'm afraid I'm a willing slave to the ALMIGHTY VAGINA™ I'm amused by his efforts though.



The sugar daddy was a pretty cool guy as well. Unlike Ron, he didn't scream out "I'M GAY!!" He just looked like your average mid-thirties professional and he thought it was pretty funny when I said Ron was "special" and called him "Corky". I kept asking him to wear his mittens and football helmet. He wasn't amused.



Later on we ate at Ruby Tuesday (i had forgotten how crappy their food was). I was complaining that the average server looked like she was 16 years old! I inquired about one of them, and sure enough she was in FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL!!

Yeah, they never let me hear the end of that one... SIGH.

As we were eating our crappy overpriced food, a big chested woman walks by and Ron says "Did you see the size of those sweater hawgs??!" I nearly choked on my crappy overpriced burger... hehe... "sweater hawgs..." I'm stealing that.



After dinner, we wandered around some more and went to the arcade to watch Ron pay some pinball (fun).

Eventually we decided to leave and sugar-daddy dropped me off to my car and I have to say, his car was fucking SWEEET! Ron hit the jackpot with this one!

Anyway, after a hug and an ass grab, Ron disappears once again. He says we'll do something later on, but I know that'll probably be next year. Ah, well.