They alwasy have some stupid little kid around 5 or 6 years old doing the stupiest thing with the damn cookie. Once the dumbassity cannot continue for any longer the family's local senior citizen comes in. (usually grandpa sumbitch).
He proceeds to show the child how eating a Oreo is done, by twisting it in half and dunking each piece in milk for about half a second then cramming them into his Polygripped mouth. The child then does the same and everyone smiles. The Oreo jingle then plays and everyone is happy as all get out.
Who the hell eats Oreos like this? First of all, the only time you disassemble a Oreo is to add another one inbetween the halves or combining the creame into one cookie and making an uber mutant Oreo. Secondly, the dunking is all fucked up! 1-3 seconds in milk does nothing but make your shirt messy cause the damned cookie is still as hard as a rock because the milk has done nothing.
When you dunk a Oreo, you have to leave it submerged in the milk for a good 20 to 30 seconds to get it soggy. Once that happens you know the Oreo is filled with milky goodness. Everyone knows this and those who don't are obviously fucking terrorists!
Why can't they just make a Oreo commercial showing how it's really done.
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HAHAH! I love those commercials. It's like, "Eat oreos and you'll be a happy old or young sumbitch too!" hehe!
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