Delusions

I overheard a couple of douchebags complaining about the audacity of actress Selma Hayek getting knocked up. They were bitching about how they wouldn't fuck her now and how much of a waste it was that she chose to be a host for a gestating parasite. Okay that parasite thing is mine and how I personally view pregnancy, but that's another story.

Anyway, it blows my mind how these twenty nothing nobodies are talking like they actually have snowball's chance in HELL of getting within 1000 miles of Salma's, selma's, salmon's, (whatever) vagina.
They aren't alone, however, I can't remember all the times I've listened to people talk this way about some celebrity or public figure. Sure I can understand looking at some broad and saying that I would penetrate her with my bunker busting flesh missile. What raging heterosexual male doesn't?

However, you got the ones who just take it too damn far. One thing I find particular pathetic are the ones that actually keep track of when the latest assembly line, underaged teen pop star's turns the magical 18. There are actually websites that countdown to that "magical event.
My question is why? What happens when she does turn eighteen? Are they going to drive over to her mansion, knock on her door, where she'll no doubt surrender her precious virtue to some 30 something, fat ass, World of Warcraft playing fucktard?
Get the fuck outta here... more like that cloud of guilt will finally be lifted from all the times they've spanked the monkey to pictures of a sixteen year old little girl and somehow convince themselves that they aren't borderline pedeophiles.

Another example is that I saw a recent issue of Rolling Stone with a headline declaring "Thank God, Hilary Swank is single again!"
Um... so the FUCK what! Oh my god, you mean all those times before I was punching the clown to a married woman??!!! Oh, the scandal!

Jeebus titty fucking christ I don't care!!