Burger King

i now know fear

So it's Sunday, I'm chillin' at my place, unwinding from my day hiking at the park when I see that fucking Burger King commercial. What in THE fuck is up with that creepy looking mother fucking Burger King?
In this one commercial some dude wakes up in the morning to find this terrifying bastard laying in bed next to him, staring at him with those souless, unblinking plaster eyes and then he hands him so gross looking breakfast sandwhich. Uggh.
In another commercial he's standing in the middle of some dude's yard while the dog is barking furiously (dogs sense evil you know). Dude goes to check it out and he sees him 50 feet away. He turns back to his wife and turns back around and the fucking Burger King is RIGHT IN HIS FACE!!!! Once again peddling off some new nasty looking breakfast sammich.
Holy fuck, that made me jump the first time I saw that commericial. This is truly the stuff nightmares are made from! You're telling me this mofo can fucking teleport? That would explain how he ends up in people's beds and the back seats of cars.
Freddy and Jason ain't got shit on this fucker!

I would rather wake up with a horse's head laying next to me than have the fucking BURGER KING staring at me with that mother fucking smile! God that smile!!
Wouldn't it be funny if the dude woke up and the king was there, but instead of handing him a sammich, he hands him the severed head of his wife??
Or what if when the dude with the yard turned around he saw his wife in a pool of blood and when he turned back around the KING is in his face with a butcher knife?
Hell, they may as well.