Punching animals

I know everybody dreams about punching random animals in the face for the sake of doing it, it's our god given right to do so as human beings. So I made a quick list of some critters that deserve my fist in their faces.


A bee, as hard as I could. Sure bees do us a favor with pollination and all, but I'm sick and tired of them flying all around with those fucking stingers all "haha i own this place and if you piss me off i'm gonna sting you good, motherfucker!" yeah fuck you bee.

A gorilla.
And no I wouldn't stay around after punching it.

A Panda Bear, because all they give a fuck about is eating, they won't even fuck to save their own species.

I want to punch a Walrus in the stomach to see if the noise it makes resembles a friend's snore.


A mormon.

Tom Cruise's baby. I hate that thing. I want to punch it so hard. It's not human, it had a full head of dark ass hair straight out the womb.

I would love to punch a giant squid right in its eye, underwater in its own turf then I'd turn around and punch the sperm whale I hitched a ride on on to get to the squid. Blaow! Right in the blow hole!

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koala, I cant think of a justifiable reason of why or a witty statement, but its the first thing I pictured punching in the face. It just seems like a perfect match, fist to koala face.

I'd also like to punch a Tasmanian devil in the face... the little fucks think they are so tough.... i'll punch it right in it's devil eye and knock it the fuck out.


I would want to punch and Emperor Penguin in the face.
I mean, it's tall enough that you don't have to really mess with your punching motion, and I'm sure being called an Emperor for so long has gone to it's head. Then I would step on its egg.

I'd punch a stingray in the face. Score one back for the ol' croc hunter. Keeeeyahhh!

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A platypus, because you'd be hitting 4 different animals at the same time.