If you seen it you know what Im talking about,
like 450 lb people trying to wear a size 10!
I was at my fave pancake joint a few days back and this huge obese land whale of a lady
sits in front of me,
-this lady is the size of Big Pun, wearing bluejeans that
were meant for a Halle Berry sized person and she obstructed my view of the sun.
I was tempted to say, "Excuse me maam,
does that button have to pop off and land in Europe somewhere before you realize those pants are too fucking small?"
*Shudder*
Now as everyone knows, I like my wimmen with curves and some meat on their bones, but there is a line!
Signs if you're too big:
-If you cant move once the clothes are on.
-If you put on a pair of shorts and they dissapear moments later
-If your bluejeans have stretchmarks on them.
-If the button pops off and shoots the dog through the forehead.
-If you use a shoehorn to put clothes on.
-If you shoes looks like you're baking bread in them.
-If the belt makes snapping sounds.
-If the clothes don't come off.
-If the lower-case letters on your shirt become Capital letters.
-If you Live in a spandex house.
-If you have to grease your pants.
.
I don't get it. Why do these hippos just buy bigger clothing and stop deluding themselves not to mention making me taste
my own bile. Bleech.
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OMG! I know! I just saw that the other day. This chick came out of a dressing room carrying a short little skirt and a tank. My first thoughts flashed back to that Twix commercial "Honey, do these make my butt look big?". Then I glanced a little farther up -- her belly is hanging out over her pants/under her shirt. I gave her the benefit of the doubt -- maybe it was just the position she was in. But no. She stood up, and by god!, she left the house wearing very fashionable clothes that showed her belly. I was stunned. I know what goes into getting ready to leave the house. I could tell by what she was wearing that she didn't just run out quickly to get an errand done.
ReplyDeleteI still say there should be a required school to teach fashion for all body types. Anyone can make themselves look incredible -- if they only knew how to work with what they have.
Dude! I know you're busy and all, but do you realize it is April? This blog was written in March.
ReplyDeleteI miss your sarcasm!! (and everything else, of course)
It's all about quality not quanity, my dear.
ReplyDeleteYou don't seriously buy into that pre-packaged, processed, frozen dinner type cliche, do you?
ReplyDeleteHow disappointing...
;P