Hitler was a nice guy after all.

I was emailed this by a friend of mine. It's probably one of the funniest things I've read in a long time.
Before any of you more sensitive people get too "outraged", lighten up. It's obviously a satirical story mocking the dumbasses who actually believe horseshit like this.

Anyway, enjoy the read:

hello all

ive been thinking, and when i think its usually intellijent. History claims that hitler was an evil tyrant, a murderer and an all round bad guy but im sure his friends would say he was nice such as gobels, himridge and glochen-pop. apparently he was a really good cook. just ask the jews

but seriously friends, the jews have been a pain in the ass for far too long and hitler only did what everyone else was thinking because no one else had the balls to do it and boy were they big. the jews have been known to be a race of liars and great exageraters, its in their genes the exagerating gene. look it up. take moses for example, FACT the jews claim he freed them from slavery and parted the red sea. in reality he beat the pharoah of egypt in a poker game for the jews. the ancient egyptians were known gambling addicts and were always running up massive debts. moses won the jews in a crooked poker game. How else would he get five royal flushes in a row? Parting the red sea? They had a boat, but they thought the story would be more interesting if it involved divine intervention.

Alright, lets look at the biggest blotch on his good name: Genocide. It'sbeen performed many times in history. Even in a lovely country like Australia, genocide was achieved, but no one holds shit against Australia. It seems that the jews cry harder than everyone else and exagerate more than all other races, due to the Exagerating gene that all jews inherit.

Mr Hitler (he should be titled 'Sir') was, contrary to popular belief, a great person who believed in truth, justice, and liberty. FACT During the war, he was happily helping old ladies across the street when suddenly, he heard a tank crash. He ran as fast as he could to the catastrophe, and saw that the tank was on fire. He then realised that they were enemy soldiers, but he knew deep down all men are equal and rescued those soldiers. One of those men was critically wounded, and hitler transfused his own blood into the dying soldier, while performing brain surgery on another man. As soon as the man recovered he whispered: 'You truly are the king of kings.'

Germany was in ruins from the great depression and losing world war one, its people were falling apart, and all hopes and ambitions they may have once had, were just specks in a mindless maze of insanity and broken dreams. Then along came good ol' Adolf Hitler and told the people to keep their chins up, everything will turn out alright for those who believe in the power of love. FACT Hitler united the people and did everything for the people. Many people believe Hitler was a racist and a bigot. Not true. He read 'The Art of War' by Sun Tzu and he aligned himself with the Japanese, thus proving he was not a racist. Hitler wanted to be friends with England, but England said no. Why? Because the British didnt like Germans then, and they sure as hell dont like 'em now. Therefore the British are racists. FACT Englands social hierachy inspired Hitler to develop the same kind of thing. But Hitler wanted to make it with more equality. England didnt like this so they declared war on Germany, because Hitler wanted to do the right thing by everyone. Thats how world war two started.

FACT Those deathcamps you all here about? Another lie generated by the jews to slander Hitlers name. Hitler and his great scientists actually developed a vaccine for cancer and was administering them through these Health Camps. FACT A jewish company developed Zyklon B, a deadly gas, fatal to all who cross its path. So, jewish insurgents decided to replace the cure for cancer with the deadly Zyklon B, thus making it look like Hitler meant to do such an atrocity. Hitler was never informed of this due to the leaders of the Health Camps being jewish and being bribed to keep their mouths shut. This is the truth.

FACT Hitler didnt commit suicide, he died while participating in a massive orgy. His last words were: 'Mein Feuren Has Gott lubernekhieben' which translates to 'Fifty more virgins to screw? Damn its good to be Hitler!'

Conclusion: Hitler was a true hero to mankind. Not a monster that he was percieved to be, but the kind of person we all strive to become.