-Every girl named Brandy (no matter the spelling) is a complete and utter fucking whore.
-Chicks who are "born again" are a guaranteed lay.
-Women that say they want a relationship and not sex always put out faster.
-karma doesnt exist, there will always be good days and there will be bad days, so everytime I have a bad day its not because I did something bad, its because the day just sucks. There is no such thing as bad luck, only bad situations and situations always have a solution.
-Chicks that talk about sex all the time don't really want to fuck that much, and/or are terrible lays.
-Being a single father does NOT assist you in getting laid.
-Most people are too much of a pussy to tell you when you have offended them, thus will talk shit about you behind your back instead of just talking politely to you about it.
-Men aren't as clueless as women think.
-Women aren't as trusting as men think.
-Guys named Joe look like child molestors.
-Guys named Ryan are invariably fucking morons.
-some people don't wash their hands after they go to the bathroom, even though there are signs saying "wash your hands".
-Everything that gives you cancer/heart disease/makes you die before you're 40/etc. tastes great/feels great/is so much more satisfying than being "healthy".
-Most Chrysler Sebrings and Dodge Stratuses are driven by chicks, 99% of the time.
-The same tv stations that ban nudity on their programming have no problem showing a 2 hour National Geographic special of nothing but naked boobs and shlongs flopping everywhere.
-When you give someone the benefit of the doubt and they've done nothing to earn it, it WILL bite you in the ass later.
-Most of the Athiests I've known, preach more than Christians.
-Girlfriends that insult or don't like your friends usually aren't worth keeping around.
-People find it hard to believe that black people can become successful outside the world of athletics and entertainment.
-Just when you think someone cannot possibly be any dumber, you can bet your ass they will prove you wrong each and every time.
-Krystal's sells good hamburgers, if the equivalent of a "good hamburger" has been changed to an almost non-existant piece of beef being over-cooked put on buns stuck up an old-person's butt cheeks and then dipped in hot dog water.
-There are no more kids named Larry.
-When your friends and family say that a boyfriend/girlfriend is a piece of shit, they're usually right.
-9 out of 10 times you don't listen to said friends and family.
-People don't care if you walk into the grocery store in swim trunks. Do it in boxers though, and it turns into an issue.
-Racism is alive and well, just cleverly hidden.
-Women LOVE talking about themselves.
-People who are book smart tend be the dumbest people on the planet
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I'm not so sure about some of this stuff, but you're right about people being too shitty to tell things to your face and about the stuff that's horrible for you being the most gratifying things on the planet!
ReplyDeleteDidn't we have the booksmarts convo. last night? ;)
I don't know any kid named larry now that you mention it.
ReplyDeleteI know a joe who is kind of serial killer child molestor scary lookin
women are supposed to be trusting????
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