Stupid fucking commericals 2008 edition

-I hate this new Taco bell commercial for the Bacon taco they have.
It's some chick with her friend in a club, and one of them as a bacon taco in her purse, "cause guys love bacon" and it will bring us running.

"Hey there, wanna buy me a drink?"

"What the fuck bitch, you smell like bacon!"

"Yea doesn't it get you turned on?"

"Fuck no, you smell like bacon! Bacon is food, I don't fuck food!"


I can't stand girls gone wild commercials. theres one every freaking commercial break on late night. it's like, yes yes, we've seen this before. wave a few dollars and these hoes take off their top and magically become horney lezbos. been there done that, whether in space or the rain forest. funniest thing is people actually pay for those dvds, when you can see all the tatas on the internet for free.

it's that time again.............

I've been to portland, Santa Fe, Seen Elvis on the way!
Las Vegas, Delaware. Even in my underwear!

....I've been Everywhereeeeeee!! I've been Everywhere!

I wonder. have they been to the 29 hells? I would like for them to go.

..............And never return.



-I hate that seemingly feminist empowerment song-- "I Can Do Anything You Can Do Better!". There have been 1 or 2 commercials that feature that garbage....I can't even remember what the commercials were about, but I instantly hated them because of that putrid song.

-There's that anti-flea commercial with that stupid ass puppy singing in the voice of a horrible little kid. "There aint' no bugs on me!" Small children singing is torture on the ears. It's a boy that sings this trash, and it's shameful....he will (or should) definitely be embarrassed about it when he's older, because there is 0 bass in his voice; puberty obviously didn't hit him just yet....and that kind of lame kiddy voice is exactly what they were looking for in the commercial, but it's still terrible. It's probably aimed at women anyway since they think anything regarding small children is "so cute". I can't stand it...I mute or change the channel immediately when it's on.
I'm ashamed to even remember what I sounded like when I was that age.....fortunately puberty blessed me with the sexiest voice in the world by about 8th or 9th grade....I think it was the summer between those years.


-Lowe's Gardening Center brings color to your life. Well, shit. I didn't realize my life was in mono-fucking-chrome, since I can see in color pretty much all the time. Guess what, assholes? The color in a Lowe's Gardening Center isn't more vivid than it is anywhere else. In fact, with all the fluorescent lighting, the color is actually more washed out and blue-tinted. And where's the classical music from the commercial? All I ever hear at the actual damn place is the damn intercom asking sales associates for help elsewhere in the damn store because no one can find anything. Fuck you, Lowes. Home Depot is just as colorful.

-The fucking animal shelter commercial with that "In the arms of the angels" song. I don't want to hear that annoying song. Now I want to kill some animals.

-That fucking verizon commercial where those hundreds of douchebags are following that chick out of her office (probably just got finished blowing her boss again) as she yaps on and on about all the shit she's gonna do on her phone now that it's cheap to call people, mainly dumping all the men she's been fucking for the past few weeks and in general just being a big ol bitch to everyone she knows because as stated before, much like herself, her calling plan is CHEAP! YAY! I can be a bitchcuntWHORE for half the money!
I bet off camera those verizon employees formed a train on her ass to aid her in fulfilling her ultimate dream of breaking the world's gang bang record.

-"Joe Whatever? A best-selling author of a financial book that has nothing to do with cars is telling me to buy a Hyundai?" Well, I guess I should listen to him because he obviously knows about cars or some shit. You ever wonder why a top-selling guru has to resort to shooting commercials for a shoddy Korean car while spouting off relatively sound but impersonal financial advice on TV? I don't because I know they're paying him up the ass to lure gullible dipshits, who think they're making sound investments by buying cars they can't really afford, to the dealerships. How about you at least recommend a good car next time, financial guru? Or—I don't know—maybe you can just shut the fuck up and continue to get rich off your books, you greedy scamming mother fucker!

-"Sorry. Joe doesn't have AT&T, so he can't get your calls here, so no one will want to date you." Wait, what? Hey, genius, they have this thing called voicemail these days. Actually, no. I'm pretty sure they also had it twenty fucking years ago too with the answering machine. You can try leaving a message, maybe. I think dear ol' Dad would get it after he's done annoying people on Makeout Ridge. What the hell is this, the 50s? And what the hell is he even doing out there in the first fucking place? Why didn't he call you from home? Because, you know, since you're at your retarded friend's house, you should have had reception. Fuck, your whole family is retarded.

-That fucking enzynte or whatever you call that boner pill and their fucking mascot "Joe" That fucking creepy guy with that frozen corpse smile of his. Why hasn't he been brought to justice yet?? If he doesn't scream I'm a serial killing, goat fucking, pedophile, I don't know what does.
Acutally I think he's a long dead corpse and his actions are being controlled by midgets in his pants.

-Those I'm a Mac commercials are annoying as fucking hell. I can't imagine someone watching one of those would be like yeah being an unwashed slacker douchebag is awesome, I'm going to go out and buy a mac! Yippeee!

-ALL commercials geared towards women.


-Oh and let's not forget that fucking 5 dollar foot long commercial from Subway. It shows random fuckers holding up their hands 12 inches apart to illustrate subway's foot long sandwhich.
You can give it way for free, I wouldn't eat it. Subway sandwiches smell and taste like feet.
Fuck your footlong.