Filthy women (incredibly random rant)

disgusting

Why are men always thought of to be dirty, smelly, sloppy, shiftless slobs? Why is it accepted that men are biologically incapable of cleaning up after ourselves? If we do clean up after ourselves, we're considered freaks or just gay.
Meanwhile, women are seen as the clean, perfumey, tidy, champions of cleanliness whose shit smells like wild mango or something.
Well, coming from someone who has lived among them for years, I'm here to tell you it's all lies! LIES! VILE LIES! The truth is, women are the most vile and dirty creatures on the planet! OH it's true!!

I discovered this revelation back when I was a snot nosed 16 year old working at Kroger. I was a young, naive, trusting little bastich who was so excited about working my new job and I was so very eager to please my supervisors. So when they asked me to clean the women's bathroom one day, I was more than willing to do so. I didn't notice the looks my co-workers gave me as I walked towards the bathroom. It was like they were watching some death row prisoner going to meet his fate on ol' sparky.
Anyway, I reached my destination and opened the door. Like everyone else, I believed that women were so much cleaner than men and cleaning up the women's bathroom would just consist of cleaning the mirrors or changing out the toilet paper and MAYBE picking up a stray tissue or two. I was in for one if the biggest wake up calls of my life!
Well the first thing I noticed was the smell. My god the smell! It was like a mixture of baby shit and tuna fish! What in the name of all that's holy?!! Oh it's gets even better. That's also the day that I found out about those fucking used tampon containers. I don't know if every fucking women in town synced up their periods but every mother fucking one of those containers were full! So I had to empty these blood soaked boxes without succumbing to the urge of puking my lungs out. It was even worse when some of them would get stuck and I had to pull them out by hand! That's a fucking biohazard I was exposed to! Thank god for rubber gloves!
Some bitches couldn't be bothered with going through the trouble of dumping their pads in a box that was foot away from the toilet. No, these fucktards actually tried to flush their pads down the toilet! Guess who had the privilage of plunger duty?

Oh, then there's the fucking issue of the baby changing station. Babies equal shit. Shit equals dirty diapers. Dirty diapers means trash can full of dirty fucking diapers!! Jeeeezus! What the hell are they feeding these little fuckers?? The trash cans were packed so tightly with shit diapers, I had to use the jaws of life to empty them! Of course you had the occassional stray diapers on the floor and in the fucking toilet! Flushing a diaper down a toilet!! WHAT IN THE FUCK!!!

And what is up with women and fucking tissue?? Tissue was freaking everywhere and the rolls needed to be changed at least 3 times a day!

Anyway, after I emerged from that estrogenical hell, I was a changed man. All preconceived notions about a woman's prestine hygeine changed forever. Every retail or restuarant job I had, it was the same story with the women's bathroom.

It's not just regulated to the bathroom either. When I lived with two of them, I found out that they were worse than any male roommate I've ever had when it came to cleanliness. It was so bad, I was ashamed to bring anyone over because the place smelled like cat shit since neither of the broads could be bothered with emptying their cats' fucking litter boxes.
Oh and that little theory about women's shit not stinking? That's a big crock. In fact some of the foulest smelling shit bombs I've ever smelled came from the bathroom of my female roommates! God it smelled like someone aborted a cow fetus and left it to rot in the bath tub. Why do women take baths anyway? They're just soaking in their own filth. I don't care how many scented candles you light or how many scented beads and bubble shit you put in there, you still leave a ring like everybody else.

A lot of my female friends are hopeless slobs as well. I love 'em to death, but they're still slobs.
I'm no clean freak myself, in fact, the only time I clean up my place is if my mom is coming over for a visit or if I have a girlfriend. I never claimed I wasn't a slob, but it pisses me off when chicks turn their noses up and dismiss me as a typical male slob when I don't close the fucking toilet seat. Meanwhile, they're living in a fucking cesspool of filth that would make Oscar the Grouch puke in disgust.
Oh yeah... girls fart too! It's true! Those broads must be holding it in all day because once they get home, all flatulant hell is unleashed! Yeah, that same rancid aborted rotting cow fetus smell eminates throughout the room. This is why we men fart throughout the day. We know that holding it in only causes more powerful smelling farts and nobody wants that. Women have yet to figure this out.

I could go on, but I don't want to.