I'm sitting at the Mellow Mushroom with a bunch of girls who are yappin' about how birth control pills can help control the severity of their periods and bleeding and blah, blah, blah and instead of vomiting in horror, I actually sit there. Unphased. Unmoved. Quietly sipping my drink because I have heard all this before a billion times over. In fact I actually threw in some knowledge of my own!
It's as if they no longer fear my mighty penis and have accepted me into their pack! What an excellent opportunity to finally unravel the mystery that has baffled scientist for centuries. The mystery of the human female. Think of the wonderful possibilities and break throughs that I could unlock from their odd twisted brains. Fuck the Human Genome Project, THIS, by can benefit the human race infinitely more. NO! Not just the human race! For all life in the universe itself!!
Bah. Who am I kidding. I'll just use my newfound knowledge to get laid a few times before I'm cast out of the female collective and be forever be labeled an "asshole".
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Use discussion of bleeding to get laid? Yep, that'll get ya kicked out.
ReplyDeleteyeah really, what are you going to say? "Oh, and how is your period this month? light-flow? are you on the pill? and, while we're on that subject, would you like to test and see if it's working?"
ReplyDeletelol.
OMG, Kat!! Your comment had me rolling!!
ReplyDeleteYou know, Vincent, maybe Kat has an idea... Very smooth. You should try it.
Let me know how it works out.
I'm assuming that you meant that you've gained an understanding of women that allows them to trust you enough for you to exploit them for you own selfish gains. I'm going to assume that you're using the period thing as an example of that trust.
ReplyDeleteYou wouldn't have so many girlfriends if you were THAT creepy! I sure as hell wouldn't hang around you! LOL! *_*
-CR