Everyone should have a friend like me.

Okay, so I'm I'm in the mall, well actually i was dragged to the mall and I was sitting in the designated "waiting area" where people (mostly men) who don't want to be at the mall sit and wait for the people who dragged them there to finish shopping for shit they don't even need.

ANYway, I saw several... things... wobble by that looked like women and they were wearing the most hideous outfits I have ever seen. Come to think of it, it wasn't the outfits that looked bad, it was the giant slugs that were wearing them that made them look so bad. I'm sorry, but if you weigh over a certain weight or your body is shaped a certain way or your skin sags a little too low, you DO NOT need to be wearing clothes that bring attention to these things
My god, seriously... noooobody wants to look at that.

Then I thought of something... it's probably not completely their fault... somebody somewhere, perhaps a friend told them that they looked good. That's probably the cruelest thing you could ever do to someone, let alone somebody you consider a friend. Maybe you're trying to spare their feelings, maybe you don't want to look like a dirtbag or maybe you're just trying to boost her self-esteem.
If you are doing this, then do us all a favor and blow your fucking brains out! How DARE you release those monstrosities upon the unsuspecting public like that! That is soooo fucking wrong!
If your friend looks like a disgusting piece of whale shit in a certain outfit, then for god's sake TELL THEM THAT!! Don't let them out of the fucking house! Everyone can look good as long as they dress according to their body type.

Take me for instance... I wouldn't look too good wearing a speedo and a mid drift and THAT'S why I don't fucking wear them... well that and the huge gayness of it all. So why the hell would some 5'5 250 pound she beast look any better?? Because thier weak kneed PC douchebag friends told them they would that's why!

VERY few women can rock a g-string and a micro mini and look damn good doing it. It's just a fact, but you can still look good... unless you're one of those huge women with cankles and arms that roll over your elbows, then there's no hope for you at all. Well I suppose a very large tarp might work.

What was my point?? Oh yeah, everyone should have a friend like me because I'm always up front with that sort of thing. If you want an honest opinion about how you look, then you're going to get one. If you look good, I'll tell you, if you look like warmed over shit, I'll tell you that as well, but in a more... tactful way of course. You may not want to hear it, but at least they know I'm not going to bullshit you and let you go out looking like crap, especially if I'm going to be going to be seen in public with you.

Don't agree with me? Then you're a turd sucking pig rapist!


Man... I could eat some Reece's Peanut Butter sticks right about now.... mmmmmm... Reeces....