poppin' fresh... in your wife
Okay since when was the Pilsbury Dough Boy a fucking perv? I mean the little fucker has always been a rather creepy looking piece of shit, but there is this new series of Pillsbury commercials that reveal his more... voyeuristic tendancies.
Basically he's following around random couples just... watching. Watching them have breakfast, watching them drive around, watching them holding hands in the park and doing regular happy couple crap. What makes it extra creepy is that the little bastard never speaks! Usually the little mother fucker won't shut the hell up, but this time he just.... stands there.... watching...always watching....
What solidifies his perverted creepiness was when he's actually IN BED with the couple. He's just laying there right between them as he watches them smooch with a hideous grin on his big fat doughy face. Do these dumbasses not even see this... thing watching their every move? I mean, call me crazy, but it would be awfully hard for me to make sweet love to my ol' lady if the pilsbury fucking dough boy was rubbing one off right beside me!
Or maybe he's rubbin' one off inside my ol' lady while I'm gone!! I just thought about that! That fucking dough boy is ALWAYS in the kitchen with the happy homemaking wives, pimping his pastry goods on the broads. What if that's not the only thing he's pimping? Dough boy's fucking banging housewifes all over America and their husbands have no fucking clue!
I can see it now... I'm going down on my ol' lady and suddenly I get a mouth full of icing! Damn dough boy's fucked my woman and I got a face full of his sugary goo!
Mother fucker! Why didn't I see this before!! So the next time you're having sex with your woman and her vagina smells like stale cinnamon buns, look out! She just got her pan greased by the fucking Pillsbury Dough boy!
*hoo hmm!*
Omg. I'll never look at cinnamon buns the same way again!
ReplyDeleteOkay, I think we need an intervention for this TV addiction you have going.... Step away from the tube, dude.
ReplyDelete*grin*
-Mel
Great post Vincent, you were starting to scare me with all that serious shit lol.
ReplyDeleteGod job with ALL those AMAZING comments on my site lately too ;)
-your number one canadian fan :P
Hey, I happen to like the little guy. Guess that's because my Papa got me a playset that had him in it. I think it was a castle of some kind.
ReplyDeleteYour so twisted..who would of thought of a post about the doughboy secretly fucking..haha that was good Vincent..in a Monty Python sort of way! ;)
ReplyDeleteDamn it, Vinnie! You made me spit out some perfectly good orange juice! Only you would think of something this freaking sadistic about good ol innocent poppin fresh! *_*
ReplyDelete-CR
I've known you for 8 years and just when I think I've figured out how your brain works, you write something like this!
ReplyDelete-Jess