Creepy Starburst

mmm...you smell good baby



Anyone seen that creepy ass Star bust commerical? Well it starts out innocently enough with a buncha high school tarts yappin' away and some skinny loser looking dweeb asks one of them to come with him so he can show her something.

Well I'm starting to think COOL! This is how PORN starts off! Then I remembered that I was watching a tv commercial.

ANYway, the dweeb brings the chick into an art studio where a covered object sits in the middle of the room.

The dweeb takes on a more... unsettling demeanor as he tears off the tarp to expose his "masterpiece" (hee, hee... "expose") to his dream skank, I mean, girl.

The object turns out to be some butt ugly sculpture made out of fucking STAR BURSTS!! The dweeb, who is starting to take on a Jeffery Dahmer appearance proudly claims that this... grotesque monstrosity was supposed to be her.

To make matters even worse, the dweeb starts to lick and kiss the thing with his tounge while breathing heavily and I swear if the camera panned down you would see that he had a raging chubby. Anyway, his kisses and licks get more and more violent until finally he starts EATING the fucking thing's FACE and moaning loudly like he's getting corn holed by a fucking llama! All the while Lynol Ritchie's "Hello" is playing in the background.

The girl just looks on in horror. I see a many restraining order requests in her future. Poor skank.