Monday, January 3, 2005

She's here.

I just got a call from her. Her plane landed from Seattle sometime last night. Last time I talked to her, she brought out the worst in me. She brought out a side of me no one should ever see. I hate her for that. That was over the phone. I have no idea how I'm going to react when I see her in person. I don't have a clue on what's going to happen. It's been a long time sense I had thoughts this dark. It's both terrifying and exciting. That concerns me.

However, this has to be done and in one way or another, this will end tonight.



25 comments:

  1. Are you sure you want to go through with this? Just promise me that you'll control yourself.

    *Ray*

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  2. Whoa. Where did all THIS come from???? Never a dull moment with you! 0.0

    -CR

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  3. Okay once again I have no idea what's going on.

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  4. Oh wait! NOW I know what you're talking about! All I have to say is be careful! Don't do anything dumb. You've come too far.

    Good luck!

    -CR

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  5. You sound pretty serious. What did this girl do to you??

    -T

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  6. Okay you know I don't usually do this whole "emotion" thing, but I just want to let you know I'm here for you if you need me and I just wanted to wish you luck.
    Of course I'm basically repeating everything I said in your voice mail.
    There I'm done now. Bye.

    -Jess

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  7. Lol! Ah, Jess I know that wasn't easy for you to say and I really do appreciate it as well as your voicemail. After all the times you've been there for me, your friendship is unquestioned. That means a lot to me. In fact I really appreciate all my friends who left me a voicemail, email, IM, etc. expressing their concern/support.

    I know I usually say it doesn't matter, but in this particular case it really does. That tells me who my real friends are and who is just taking up space.
    Thanks again!

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  8. I'm confused. You're not talking about your ex again are you? I thought you guys were cool. If it is her, what did she do to piss you off so badly???
    If it's not her, nevermind. I hope you make it through this regardless.

    -K

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  9. After what you've told me, you must be physically and emotionally exhausted. We both knew that this would be a war, but you had to settle things with her sooner or later. What she did to your ex/friend/whatever was just evil plain and simple. Nobody deserves that.
    I think it's very admirable that you took full responsibility for her actions, but just remember that you DIDN'T write those terrible things. SHE did. You are not that kind of person. I'm glad you're finally starting to see that. She has got to be held accountable for her actions and I think you did a good job telling her that. I don't think you were too harsh on her at all. She deserved every bit of your anger and then some.
    Of course I'm a bit bias because what she said to your ex kind of hit home with me, too so she's not getting too much sympathy from me. I respect her courage that she actually flew down to K-town to confront you about it. That's about it though.
    Good job. Now just relax and get on with your life. It's a whole new year!

    *Ray*

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  10. Man I don't know if I'd have been able to do what you did. That was a potentially dangerous position you put yourself in. I tend to avoid stressful and situations like that if I can help it, but you face them head on. That's very cool and a little concerning.
    I noticed you said "exciting" in your post. Does this have anything to do with the excitement you feel when facing the unknown that you've metioned before or do you just like the thrill of confronation? Just askin'.

    -CR

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  11. Ray:
    Yeah, I agree my methods were a bit brutal and I hated revealing that side of myself again, but it was necessary. It's the only way she'll learn. Sometimes the only way you can deal with a monster is to become one. I think when she saw me this way, she saw herself and that scared her enough to get help.
    I knew what she said to hurt the ex would hurt you as well, which is why i was reluctant to tell you what she did. Sorry. I already told you that didn't I?
    Also, I realized I didn't actually write those things, but still…

    CR:
    I won't lie. The unknown just excites me. Always has. No matter what the situation is.
    Just because I'm not afraid of confrontation doesn't mean I get a thrill out of it... well not as much as you think.

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  12. That sounds really intense. I don't know what shitty thing this chick did, but I think it's cool how you gave the bitch a taste of her own medicine!

    Rock on!

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  13. You're telling me she flew all the way down here to confront you? No other reason? Well, good luck with her. I finally figured out who it was. Sorry I haven't called. Been trying to go to sleep early what with having to get up so early nowadays.
    --Libby aka Lisa

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  14. Well at least you didn't kill the girl! LOL! jk!





    you didn't did you?

    -SW

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  15. No. She has family in K-town. You don't have to explain yourself about the not calling thing. I know how busy you've been lately plus, like Jess, I've never doubted your friendship.

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  16. Aw, so heart warming! Anyway, I know despite the fact that you've pretty much lost all attraction for the ex (which is a good thing), you still care enough about her to attempt to be her friend. Personally I just can't wrap my brain around that concept.... being friends with exes.... that's so bizarre.

    Good luck with that.

    -Jess

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  17. I've been meaning to ask you about that attraction thing with the ex. You were freakin' nuts about her the way you always talked about her and those beady little rat eyes would blind me with their twinkling, but all that seemed to change over night! I thought for sure it would take you forever to get over her. What happened??

    -CR

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  18. I was thinking. I always said that karma would come back and bite your "friend" in the ass for what she did to your ex/friend/whatever and ironically it used you to deliver that message. Who says karma doesn't have a sense of humor?
    =)

    *Ray*

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  19. Oops. Let's try that again.
    I have no problem admitting I had it pretty bad for her (That seemed so long ago.) Surprisingly, "getting over" her wasn't that hard once I came to my senses. Actually it was pretty easy.

    Jess:
    Thanks for the support! I think.

    Ray: I never thought of it that way. Weird.

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  20. You are lucky to have so many supportive friends, you must be doing something right. :)

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  21. So does that mean you were never attracted to her in the first place?
    Also, what's the status with your friend and you?

    -K

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  22. Enough already!
    Waiting for a new post, Vincent...
    *chanting 'New post, New post, New post'

    Everybody -- say it with me!!

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  23. jeez. So pushy!

    K: If you're wondering if I had the "Rose tinted glasses" on from the beginning, the answer is no. I was very attracted to her and I really enjoyed her company.

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  24. Oh okay. I was just wondering since you said it was so easy for you to get over your attraction for her. I didn't mean anything by it. =)

    -K

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  25. No problem. Truth is I was legitimately crazy about this girl, but things happened, mistakes were made and she became a different person. I deluded myself into thinking otherwise (rose tinted glasses) and I became attracted to her for the wrong reasons.
    I didn't see this until I started thinking rationally and realized the truth. After that, losing all non-platonic emotions for her became easy.

    I suggest you do the same with your ex before you try to "win" him back. Otherwise, you'll just end up being some obsessed loser hiding in his bushes and sending him poetry or some bullshit.

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