Ah...first love. I remember this...um...guy's first true love in high school. She was so beautiful, smart, witty, the head cheerleader and funny as hell. Her sexuality was far beyond her years, but she wasn't a slut. He loved her with all his heart and she loved him. They were perfect for each other and they both knew they'd be together forever.
That is until the skanky bitch dumped him for some big shot football stud with no neck! He was so devastated! He begged her to tell him what he did wrong, but she slapped him in the face and just told him he wasn't cool enough for her and then proceeded to laugh at him! The guy didn't know what to do! He just wanted to end it all right there! What's the point of living?? Who would've guessed that a cheerleader could be so shallow!?!!
As the weeks passed by, his despair turned into blind rage and hatred. He didn't give a fuck anymore and people started to fear him. Eventually he gained the reputation of being the "bad kid the you didn't wanna fuck with".
Hell, even the teachers were afraid of him. One time in bullshit social studies class, his teacher was giving him lip for carving on his desk with his bad ass switchblade knife and he jumped on her desk and told the bitch to fuck the hell off! He was tired of all women's bullshit and he wasn't going to take it anymore as he proceeded to threaten her with his bad ass switch blad knife.
Needless to say, he was expelled shortly afterwards.
He drifted around life finding no real purpose, getting in trouble with the law a few times, had several failed relationships, developed a horrible temper and never really learned to trust anyone (especially women) again. Dozens of Counselors labeled him with every disorder in the book throughout the years, but in reality, he was just an asshole.
All this because some head cheerleader bitch left him for the big shot football stud with no neck in high school.
You see... that big shot football stud with no neck was.... ME.
The moral of this story: Don't let me near your girlfriend.
THE END.
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That can't be you. I think you made it up.
ReplyDeleteFor one, you are the 'safe' guy. You can be near any and all girlfriends/wives.
Second, I distinctly remember your head resting on a neck, not on your shoulders.
HAHAHAHA! I'm sorry that comment just cracked me up. Vinnie the SAFE guy?? That wasn't always true! Still not sure if it still is. -_^
ReplyDelete-CR
Dammit! I got suckered! Is this a true story?
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