saw a sick chinese woman
I remember a couple years ago during the height of the SARS scare, I was in the gym doing my thing and this asian woman standing next to me sneezed. I kind of froze and instantly thought OHMIGOD SHE HAS SARS AND SHE'S KILLED US ALL!!! I'M TOO GOOD LOOKING TO DIE!!! AIIIEEEEE!!!!"
Then I calmed the fuck down and thought to myself: what the fuck are you doing acting like a scared little sissy girl? What are you, a fucking Canadian??? Dumbass Canucks shut down an entire city because some chinese old lady has a head cold.
Well I know by default that I'm superior to ANY damn Canadian and I slapped myself in the balls for behaving like one. Then I slapped myself in the balls again because I'm that damn awesome……plus it felt kinda nice.
Other things that piss me the fuck off about Canada:
Communism. It's a well known fact that they're ALL bunch of godless, freedom hating pinkos.
The Metric system. The natural enemy of any red blooded American.
WTF is "ABOOT?" or "ABOAT?"
Celene fucking Dion. Bitches nose is about a mile long (that's 1.6+km for any metric tards reading this)
Fucking Mounties. Yeah… they ain't gay or nothin'.
1 dollar= 10000 Canadian dollars or whatever the fuck they use.
They actually tolerate and use the French language. That alone deserves a nuking.
They refer to themselves as the "Great WHITE North." RACIST!
Lumberjacks
Curling. 'Nuff said.
Large satanic worshipping population. It's true! I read it somewhere.
Hitler was born there.
That Avril Lagaverreine-whatever bitch.
Emos. I'm pretty sure Canada is responsible for unleashing this blight upon the world.
That fat land whale bastard Micheal Moore worships the country, so that entitles automatic hatred from me.
Old women drink the blood of newborns to gain power.
All the men there have tiny penises and are sterile.
All of the above is true because I wrote it.
Lest you forget you watched Boomsday last year with me. Making fun of it -- I tell ya. :) Hey, your blog has been damn good lately! Damn good. I'm impressed. You might have a new fan now that you have stopped using the f word every three seconds. ;)
ReplyDeleteYou just HAD to make fun of Canada, eh? You're asking for it.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if you realize this, but about 75% of the things you listed about Canada is true for Minnesota also, which is where I'm from, ay.
ReplyDeleteLarry