My friend.

So I was talking with a long time friend of mine on the phone and we were yappin' about the good ol' days and how much fun we had together and all the things we seemed to have in common. We also griped about our shitty luck with the opposite sex. Just really enjoying each others' company.



Finally she told me that she had always had a thing for me and those feelings have only been building over the years. She also asked me why we never got together. Well, this was a total surprise to me. I mean, this was some pretty raw emotion she was expressing to me. I never knew. I then said to her in the most sincere voice that I could muster and told her in these well chosen words: "YOU HAVE HERPES!!! ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!! THERE IS NO WAY, AND I MEAN NO-FUCKING-WAY I WOULD EVEEEEER TOUCH A DIRTY, TRASHY SKANK LIKE YOU!!! THE MERE THOUGHT OF IT MAKES ME WANNA CUT MY DICK OFF WITH A RUSTY SPORK!!! I'D MUCH RATHER DO THAT THAN EVER TOUCH YOU!!! WHOOOORE!!! DIRTY, DIRTY WHOOOORE!!!! YOU'RE GOING TO HELL AND SO ARE YOUR FUTURE HERPE CHILDREN!!!!!"



And can you believe that she hung up on ME?? The nerve of some people.





Chicks like this make it really easy for me to give up women