Well since I'm still in PHASE 1, I have a lot of free time to tackle the seemingly impossible task of decoding women and their clandestine psudeo-language that has plagued mankind for centuries. Yeah, I know I have my work cut out for me. I was going to help out with that Human Genome thing, but thought that wasn't challenging enough.
"I just need to get some perspective/space/time alone."
TRANSLATION: "You really bug me and I have no interest in you, but I'm trying to think of a way to get rid of you without looking like a bitch. Oh, who am I kidding? I'll just avoid you and never return your calls and hope you get the hint. Besides, it wouldn't be fair to the new guy I've met if I wasted my time with a loser like you. At most I'll give the whole 'I hope we can still be friends' line, but we BOTH know that's a crock of shit. Well, I'm off to suck my new man's dick! Toodles! Oh yeah...sorry about giving you that weird rash on your penis. I'm sure it's nothing."
And there you have it! If a girl ever says this to you, pack your bags, count your losses and go to the nearest Free Clinic!
More to come!
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Sometimes we actually need time alone
ReplyDeleteYeah, yeah. There are always exceptions, but for the most part, my translation is flawless!
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